Video Games

You Can’t Read This Article Yet. Come Back After You’ve Completed Your Work Missions

function myFunction() {
var strings = [“Whoa there! Afraid you can’t go any further. This article’s only available to folks who’ve completed their work for the week.”,”Hey now! Are you sure you’ve done everything you need to do this week? Seems like you’d wanna get that done before lollygagging on a satire site.”,”Maybe you should try spending a little more time on Outlook before you read this article.”,”Nothing to see here just yet! Come back once you’ve completed 100% of your job-related quests.”,”Slow down, traveler! Alas, I cannot permit you to unfold this scroll at the moment…only warriors who are true of heart — particularly those who have completely and accurately filled in their timesheets — are permitted to bear witness to these jokes.”,”Ah! Just who I was hoping to see. We’ve been looking for someone to read this satire piece…I’ll just need you to show me a badge proving that you’ve finished all your work for the week! …Ah, I see. Terribly sorry.”,”This article isn’t quite ready yet…how long? Hard to say…maybe check back in after you’ve earned a paycheck!”,”You need a ‘did work already’ skill of 100 to read this article.”,”Shhh…the article you’re trying to read is sleeping and doesn’t like to be disturbed. It should wake up once you’ve wrapped up your work though!”,”Hold your horses, soldier! It’s too dangerous to try and read a Hard Drive article before you’ve done everything your boss is expecting you to do!”,”Waaahhh!!! Sniffle…huh? Get out of the way and let you read this article? My mommy says I shouldn’t trust anyone who hasn’t tackled all of their assignments for the week. So there!”,”A sign reads: ‘article gone fishin’. be back once you’ve tied up the loose ends on your outstandin’ projects.’”,”Scram, kid! This article’s not meant to be read by weaklings like you. If you’re not strong enough to knock out your weekly to-do list, you’re DEFINITELY not strong enough to read this article.”,”There seems to be a massive boulder blocking the trail to the satire article…maybe someone who hasn’t been procrastinating would be wise enough to move it…”,”404 Error: Justification for slacking off not found.”,”Fufufufu…did you really believe I’d let you read this article while you still have emails to send? Then I’m afraid you’re even more foolish than I thought…”,”Oh! Thank goodness, someone came. I’m afraid I’ve gotten myself stuck in the code of this website…rumor has it that the only way to escape is through a voice-activated password…something about a manager confirming that there’s nothing left for an employee to take care of this week?”,”Halt, peasant! I am bound by royal decree to forbid any lowly farmhand from trespassing through this web page without certified documentation that they’ve circled back on all of this week’s action items!”,”Hee hee! Stop right there, ‘tis the article troll, To proceed further, pay my toll!, The price is high, and not for the meek: Completion of all your tasks this week!”,”Access Denied. Entry requires one (1) job well done.”];
var lookup = Math.random() * 20;
document.getElementById(“demo”).innerHTML = strings.at(lookup);
}
myFunction();

This article is satirical. Hard Drive is a gaming/tech satire site. All content should be considered parody and entertainment purposes only.