Video Games Archives - Page 30

UnitedHealthcare CEO Assassin Spotted Emerging from Conveniently Placed Hay Cart

Peter Ferrarese • December 8, 2024

NEW YORK — Multiple eyewitnesses claimed to have seen the assassin of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson emerging from a conveniently-placed…

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How Elon Musk Would Change Every Hasbro IP

R. Anthony Mahan • December 6, 2024

Brilliant industrialist and Shadow President-elect Elon Musk has recently suggested buying Hasbro, because this selfless hero has dedicated himself to…

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BREAKING: Nintendo Announces They Have Lost Shigeru Miyamoto Inside Super Nintendo World

B.D. • December 4, 2024

OSAKA, Japan — Following the recent reveal of Super Nintendo World's Donkey Kong Country expansion, Nintendo has issued a statement…

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Gamer Blames Failed Field Sobriety Test on Stick Drift

Jack H. • December 4, 2024

MILWAUKEE — The closing arguments for the State of Wisconsin v. Peter Gundy were made today, with a self-represented Gundy…

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Elderly President Too Distracted by Wayward Son to Fight Anti-Democratic Conspiracy

Kyle Duggan • December 3, 2024

NEW YORK — Disgraced president George Sears, also known as Solidus Snake, was unable to execute his plan to restore…

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Man Who Will Never Know the Touch of a Woman Fervently Casts Vote for “Best Jiggle Physics” at Real Game Awards

Johnny Amizich • December 3, 2024

GARY, Ind. — Gary resident Eric Biggins, who goes by the online alias TigBittyEnjoyer69 despite the fact that he has…

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Seasonal Depression? Good News! This Year It Comes With a Battle Pass

B.D. • December 2, 2024

REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — A newly announced battle pass for this year’s entry of “Seasonal Depression” promises to help users…

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Here Are All the Games That Merrick Garland Played Instead of Doing His Job

Casey Smith • December 2, 2024

Editor's Note: The following list was emailed to Hard Drive from Merrick Garland’s official Justice Department email address. He has…

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Right-Wing Gamer Just Thinks Mecha-Hitler Did a Lot of Good Things for Castle Wolfenstein

Steve Packosky • December 2, 2024

WINTHROP HARBOR, Ill. — Local conservative video game enthusiast Kyle Sturver found himself arguing for the supposed merits of “Wolfenstein”…

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Clint From Stardew Valley Banned From Calling in to the “Delilah” Radio Show

Michael Shurtz • December 1, 2024

REEDSPORT, Ore. — The nationally syndicated radio show “Delilah” has publicly banned Stardew Valley resident Clint for an unprecedented amount…

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