Video Games Archives - Page 29

Courier Shot in The Head Near Goodsprings Just Wants a Turbo Man Doll For His Kid

Brendan Osorio • December 18, 2024

GOODSPRINGS — A courier shot in the head near Goodsprings recently miraculously has survived and is expected to make a…

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Elon Musk Reveals Favorite Movie of 2024 Was “Dark humor Offensive jokes Family Guy Compilation (not for snowflakes)”

Sean Fallon • December 16, 2024

AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk released his top ten films of 2024 with his top spot going to a YouTube…

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Rule 34 Image Grossly Underestimating Kirby’s Fellatory Capabilities

Steve Packosky • December 16, 2024

MINNEAPOLIS — A Rule 34 image portraying notable platformer icon Kirby vastly underestimated his presumed capabilities in performing fellatio, disappointed…

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Report: Apathetic Middle Class Didn’t See Reason to Vote in 2024 Game Awards

Patrick Sullivan • December 14, 2024

LOS ANGELES — A post-show poll from Reuters revealed that the middle class did not see any reason to vote…

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Santa Announces He Can Only Afford to Give One Child PS5 for Christmas

RJ Dralle • December 13, 2024

NORTH POLE — Santa Claus announced today to his workshop of elves that he could afford to only give one…

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Ranking the Eeveelutions Based on How Likely They Are to Eat You After You Die

Nick Coffman • December 12, 2024

You died unexpectedly in the comfort of your home and now it’s just your body and your Eeveelution of choice…

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Marvel Rivals Doesn’t Have Enough Hilarious Banter (Guest Column by Brian Michael Bendis)

Peter Cunis • December 11, 2024

Everybody knows that comic books are only popular because they have so much dialogue. It’s the one thing that separates…

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Elon Musk Vows to Eliminate 75% of All Pokémon

Hard Drive Staff • December 9, 2024

AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk, who recently revealed his desire to found a video game publishing company, promised to eliminate…

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Every Denzel Movie Ranked by How Much Better It’d Be With a Gay Kiss

bee • December 9, 2024

I love Denzel Washington, but his acting range has been curbed by prudish Hollywood directors for decades. Denzel recently revealed…

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Man Excitedly Downloading Wrong Call of Duty

Hard Drive Reporter • December 9, 2024

SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Social worker Jeff Phillips was seen excited downloading Call of Duty: Modern Warfare III (2023)” despite…

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