Instant classic Rocket League was released in 2015, and if you’re anything like me you’ve spent a startling amount of time being an absolute detriment to your online teammates, through absolutely no ill intentions of your own. It’s a high-octane pedal to the medal affair, and I am generally the worst one out there, even though I am quite experienced at this point and honestly trying my best. At some point I realized I was never going to become a better teammate, but I could become a better bad teammate! No one wants to hear you say, “Sorry guys, I was really trying and have even been watching YouTube videos on how to get better,” after a 5-0 shillacking, but if you give the right excuse, maybe these guys will hang out with you a little longer before blocking you. Just maybe. Here’s 100 things you can fire off in the Rocket League chat, either after an embarrassing loss or even just quickly after allowing a particularly mortifying goal.
- sorry a bunch of birds flew in here
- I flooded the engine!
- Those looked like goals to me guys idk
- any1 else just have a lil seizure?
- wait what was teams???
- im very drunk!
- thought i opened forza wtf
- quit hogging the road!
- i am an old man
- car’s low on oil i think
- yyy did u guys play like that??
- i am so lost
- i dont feel like any of that was my fault
- tires are super low 🙁
- sorry spilled coffee on my foot
- sorry trying to play n drive
- oops i should’ve scored more points
- sry neighbor kids out there yellin at me
- did we start?
- brb restarting internet
- whoa sorry was eating a sloppy joe
- cars bein weird
- im being electrocuted wtf
- shit sum1 put something in my eyes
- wasnt me
- all ur fault
- learning 2 play w/ feet srry
- ball is too small
- ball is too big
- hey im on dial up btw
- i dont think that went in
- these fuckin guys are ramming me
- this batmobile sucks dick
- this delorean sucks dick
- bullshit i stopped that
- sorry was stuck in first gear
- using modded Virtual Boy to play srry
- edibles
- doin the rope a dope
- fps dropped never had a chance
- im all fucked up on cold medicine
- srry trying to play and drive bus
- wont happen again swear to fuckin god
- my bad everyone’s screaming at me here
- yikes had to put out kitchen fire
- fuck ya doin?
- I apologize for my actions, and I pledge to do better.
- they cheat real bad
- sorry gf broke up with me right when they took that shot
- come on ref!
- think my vax side effects jus started 🙁
- ohh nooooo oh no oh no oh god please forgive me im so sorry i am crying
- im not one bit sorry
- ohhhhhhhhh now i get it
- listen that wont happen no more
- i sacked out what happened
- i really should have done that better
- alignment’s off i think
- did it rain here last night?
- srry swerved to miss raccoon out there
- wtf cars dont fly
- if these were real rocket cars that would’ve went in
- my bad i thought u said let it go in
- lol no way that was five minutes
- that was weird
- paperboy just broke my window
- did i not do that well?
- that was all done ironically
- wait, what?
- yikes this is all going so fast
- I am a concerned parent just checking this game for swears, I’m sorry if my poor playing has affected your evening in any way.
- sorry new friends
- Sniper! Sniper! Keep moving everybody!!
- sorry was trying to put in cheat codes
- not all of that’s on me
- if they wanted me to play goalie they’d put a different colored shirt on me!
- sorry was updating my spreadsheets!
- VERY itchy sweater
- I’m in VR and crashed out the window into the yard
- oh that was mine?
- WHERE’S COACH?????
- 2nd place!!
- sorry we didn’t win but i gained 2 lifelong friends <3
- this game is weird
- controllers bein weird
- wtf tv is being so weird
- sorry my mom was being weird
- hm all of that was very weird
- ah!! someone is steering my car remotely like the Penguin in Batman Returns!!
- sorry sun got in my eyes
- sorry son got in my eyes
- sorry just practicing for driving test irl
- I just really wanna go back to the main menu and hear some of those sick tunes
- I never learned how to read
- I thought I was one of the other cars for like a good 15 minutes
- turns out my older brother didn’t even give me a controller that was plugged in
- ok look it kinda IS rocket science though, it’s rocket league science
- wait is this not Fall Guys???
- i just don’t like you guys that much
- Fuck that we won
