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Tabletop Games

September 22, 2020

Loser Spends Three Years Earning Master’s Degree When He Could’ve Been Writing a Sick D&D Campaign

Loser Spends Three Years Earning Master’s Degree When He Could’ve Been Writing a Sick D&D Campaign

RALEIGH, N.C. — A local graduate’s Masters of Fine Arts degree was tainted by the realization the past three years could have been spent crafting…

September 9, 2020

Powerful, Strategic Deck Decimated by Opponent’s ‘Have a Lot of Monsters’ Strategy

Powerful, Strategic Deck Decimated by Opponent’s ‘Have a Lot of Monsters’ Strategy

NASHVILLE — A weekly Magic: The Gathering tournament at local shop Boards & Swords featured a shocking first round upset, as a carefully crafted deck…

August 30, 2020

Dungeon Master Sneaks a Few Real Dice in With Those Sex Ones

Dungeon Master Sneaks a Few Real Dice in With Those Sex Ones

PITTSBURGH — A recent attempt at invigorating the intimacy of Dana Boyer’s relationship with an avid role-playing fanatic ended horribly after her husband Stephen Barker…

August 5, 2020

D&D Party Prepares for Yet Another Battle With How Much Their DM Sucks

D&D Party Prepares for Yet Another Battle With How Much Their DM Sucks

BOULDER, Colo. — A group of friends playing Dungeons & Dragons faced yet another encounter with the most difficult recurring villain in their campaign —…

July 11, 2020

Dungeon Master Increases Puzzle’s Difficulty by Describing It Shittily

Dungeon Master Increases Puzzle’s Difficulty by Describing It Shittily

SILVERTON, Ore. — In a groundbreaking move to combat his players’ adeptness at solving riddles and subverting challenges, local dungeon master Dan Richards supercharged the…

July 6, 2020

Hasbro Announces Monopoly: Monopoly Edition

Hasbro Announces Monopoly: Monopoly Edition

PAWTUCKET, R.I. — Hasbro announced the next installment of the beloved board game Monopoly with the commemorative Monopoly: Monopoly Edition. Each tile on the board…

May 26, 2020

D&D Party Plans Intervention for Character’s Item Hoarding

D&D Party Plans Intervention for Character’s Item Hoarding

GREENE, N.Y. — A local Dungeons and Dragons group recently completed a three hour session that was secretly planned as an intervention for the item…

May 20, 2020

Board Game Your Friends Never Want to Play Adapted Into Video Game Your Friends Never Want to Play

Board Game Your Friends Never Want to Play Adapted Into Video Game Your Friends Never Want to Play

KANSAS CITY — Reports are coming in that the board game you spent $60 on that your friends never want to play recently launched an…

May 5, 2020

Wizards of the Coast Change ‘Magic: The Gathering’ to Just ‘Magic’ to Encourage Social Distancing

Wizards of the Coast Change ‘Magic: The Gathering’ to Just ‘Magic’ to Encourage Social Distancing

RENTON, Wash. — As the COVID-19 pandemic sweeps the nation, a spokesman for Wizards of the Coast announced today that the popular trading card game…