January 3, 2022 Matt Mercer Spends 45 Minutes Describing Sandwich Smell to Waiter Matt Mercer Spends 45 Minutes Describing Sandwich Smell to Waiter LOS ANGELES — Legendary Dungeon Master and part-time Wyrmwood spokesman Matt Mercer made a splash at a local restaurant this week when he described his…
January 3, 2022 DEAL ALERT: This Dumb Grieving Mother Is Selling Her Deceased Son’s Pokémon Cards for Like Barely Anything DEAL ALERT: This Dumb Grieving Mother Is Selling Her Deceased Son’s Pokémon Cards for Like Barely Anything Oh shit Pokémon fans, we have the deal of the century for you! If you’re looking for some sick cards on the cheapo, local grieving…
December 22, 2021 Woman With +5 Charisma Rolls Nat 20 on Virgin Pregnancy Lie Woman With +5 Charisma Rolls Nat 20 on Virgin Pregnancy Lie NAZARETH — Local player character Mary reportedly rolled a natural 20 when checking an attempt at a lie to her NPC husband Joseph that she…
November 14, 2021 New Adult LEGO Set Lets You Build Your Tiny Pathetic Apartment New Adult LEGO Set Lets You Build Your Tiny Pathetic Apartment ENFIELD, Conn. — The LEGO Company released a new set today that will allow you to bring that underwhelming little place you call home to…
October 19, 2021 Buckle the Fuck Up: Our DM Just Showed Up and He’s Wearing a Duster Buckle the Fuck Up: Our DM Just Showed Up and He’s Wearing a Duster Oh fuck me you guys, you won’t believe what just happened. We got together for our weekly D&D game at Jay’s, and Jesse was a…
October 16, 2021 100-Year-Old Gamer Heartbroken He’s Not Allowed to Play Any Board Games 100-Year-Old Gamer Heartbroken He’s Not Allowed to Play Any Board Games BOISE, Idaho — A recent milestone birthday celebration came with it a grim realization for a local man now that he turned 100 years old,…
August 28, 2021 Keeping DM’s Cat Off Table Is D&D Party’s Hardest Challenge of the Night Keeping DM’s Cat Off Table Is D&D Party’s Hardest Challenge of the Night LOS GATOS, Calif. — An adorable pet cat has consistently decimated any chance of progression in a year-long Dungeons & Dragons campaign, weary party members…
August 26, 2021 Casual Game of ‘Clue’ Alerts Child to Amount of Murder Weapons in Home Casual Game of ‘Clue’ Alerts Child to Amount of Murder Weapons in Home CHESAPEAKE, Va. — Worried family members have confirmed that an ordinary round of the classic board game Clue alerted local child Dylan Cresswell as to…
July 31, 2021 DM In Over Their Head After Player Character Decides to Go to Therapy DM In Over Their Head After Player Character Decides to Go to Therapy HARRISBURG, Penn. — Dungeon Master Stan Wixler is reportedly “way out of his element” after one of the player characters in his current campaign has…