Santa Accidentally Schedules Final Fantasy XIV Raid for Christmas Eve
NORTH POLE — Santa Claus may be late starting his annual delivery run due to accidentally scheduling a Final Fantasy XIV raid on Christmas Eve, sources confirm. “Everyone in my Free Company had availability on a weeknight,” said Santa. “…
Man Changes Names and Dates on Captain Marvel Posts to Shit on Upcoming Supergirl Movie
BOISE, Idaho — After the recent release of the Supergirl movie trailer, Mitch Nesbitt, a veteran of spreading hatred towards the Captain Marvel film and… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Read more nonsense</a>
Seymour Guado Awarded Blitzball Peace Prize
Fallout Fan Has Same Music Taste As Grandpa
ORANGE COUNTY, Calif. — Local gamer and ‘Fallout’ player Jeffrey O’Toole has found a new way to bond with his grandfather Brian via their shared… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Continue reading this gem</a>
Santa Confirms He Will No Longer Be Gifting Xbox Consoles
NORTH POLE — Immortal elf Santa Claus confirmed that Xbox consoles will no longer be included in his yearly gift distribution event after they disappeared… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Continue this tale</a>
Disney Adult Overjoyed by Hidden Mickey Found During Colonoscopy
Quentin Tarantino Steps on Lego Piece, Orgasms
LOS ANGELES — In a return to The Bret Easton Ellis Podcast, famed film director, Quentin Tarantino, shared that stepping on Lego blocks with his… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Continue reading this gem</a>
How to Turn Off Your Ad Blockers So You Can Watch The Game Awards
The biggest night in gaming is right around the corner and with it comes the ever-present question, “How do I watch The Game Awards?” Fear… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Get the full story</a>
Quentin Tarantino Changes Opinion of Paul Dano After Seeing Him Say the N-Word in 12 Years a Slave
HOLLYWOOD — Writer-director Quentin Tarantino has revised his earlier negative opinion of actor Paul Dano after seeing him say the N-word in 12 Years a… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Get the full story</a>
Ganondorf’s Minions Suffer Existential Crisis Following Seventh Blood Moon Resurrection
HYRULE KINGDOM — Legions of Ganondorf’s horrible henchmen have reported suffering an existential crisis of sorts following their seventh resurrection back to this mortal plane… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Continue this tale</a>
“Death by Lightning” Reveals President James Garfield Hated Mondays
LOS ANGELES — Netflix’s new historical miniseries “Death by Lightning”, which focuses on the career and ultimate assassination of the 20th U.S. President James Garfield,… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Video Games
Seymour Guado Awarded Blitzball Peace Prize
LUCA, Spira — This week, Maester of Yevon and Minister of Temple Affairs Seymour Guado was awarded a special Blitzball Peace Prize by the officials of the Church of Yevon “We are honored to award this peace prize to Seymour…
Fallout Fan Has Same Music Taste As Grandpa
ORANGE COUNTY, Calif. — Local gamer and ‘Fallout’ player Jeffrey O’Toole has found a new…
Santa Confirms He Will No Longer Be Gifting Xbox Consoles
NORTH POLE — Immortal elf Santa Claus confirmed that Xbox consoles will no longer be…
How to Turn Off Your Ad Blockers So You Can Watch The Game Awards
The biggest night in gaming is right around the corner and with it comes the…
Ganondorf’s Minions Suffer Existential Crisis Following Seventh Blood Moon Resurrection
HYRULE KINGDOM — Legions of Ganondorf’s horrible henchmen have reported suffering an existential crisis of…
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Mastercard and Visa Clarify That Lesbian Porn Still Okay
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Triple H Reveals Record-Breaking Third Female Character Archetype
Following the success of WWE’s newest PLE “Eternal Conquerors,” Paul “Triple H” Levesque teased the pro-wrestling world with an announcement…
AI Prompt Writer Struggling with Suicide Note
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I Read Josh Gad’s Memoir So You Don’t Have To
Okay, so truth be told, I did not read this. I listened to the audiobook on a Bluetooth speaker during…