We Tried To Interview the Ninja Turtles but Immediately Caught Typhoid Fever and Hepatitis A From Walking Through the New York City Sewer System
OK, our editors are going to have to start doing more research on our interviews before they assign them to us. At the very least, they should issue us hazard gear if they’re going to make us wade through raw sewage to reach our subjects. T…
Aperture Science Reveals It’s Safe To Fuck Through the Holes Made With Your Portal Gun if You’re Into That
MUNISING, Mich. – Physicists at Aperture Science have revealed that it’s perfectly safe for people to engage in sexual activity through the holes made with… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Why I Decided Not To Give My Children the T-Virus Vaccine
Ugh, Sorry: We Interviewed Orson Scott Card Without Researching Him First
OK, this one’s on us. We’re huge fans of the Enderverse, so when we got a chance to interview its author, Orson Scott Card, we… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Continue this tale</a>
Every Conservative at Anime Convention Cosplaying as Mr. Popo
SYRACUSE, N.Y. – Every conservative at the Animetopia convention in Syracuse’s Oncenter appeared at the event dressed like Dragon Ball Z character Mr. Popo, unsurprised… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Kristi Noem Invites Minneapolis ICE Agent to Join Christmas Adventurers Club
Six-Armed Image of Goro Clearly AI Generated
BOSTON — An image of Mortal Kombat Shokan sub-boss Goro returned by a Google search must have been AI-generated, sources report. “This is total bullshit,”… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Continue this tale</a>
Larian CEO Replaced by Elder Brain
GHENT, Belgium — Larian Studios, the company behind Baldur’s Gate 3 and the Divinity series, announced this week that their CEO Swen Vincke has been… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Get the full story</a>
As a Rollerblading Graffiti Artist, I Resent How Easy “Jet Grind Radio” Makes My Job Look
I believe that we are on this planet for a designated purpose, and it is up to each individual to discover what that purpose is…. <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Man Changes Names and Dates on Captain Marvel Posts to Shit on Upcoming Supergirl Movie
BOISE, Idaho — After the recent release of the Supergirl movie trailer, Mitch Nesbitt, a veteran of spreading hatred towards the Captain Marvel film and… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Continue this tale</a>
Seymour Guado Awarded Blitzball Peace Prize
LUCA, Spira — This week, Maester of Yevon and Minister of Temple Affairs Seymour Guado was awarded a special Blitzball Peace Prize by the officials… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Video Games
Everything Fans of the Show Need to Know About the Fallout Games
Once upon a time, companies would quickly rush out licensed video games of dubious quality to promote movies or TV shows, and we’ve finally lived long enough to see things happen the other way around. With its second season a…
Ubisoft Stepping Away from Video Games to Focus On Laying Employees Off
SAINT-MANDÉ, France — In a surprise statement yesterday Ubisoft Entertainment has announced it will be…
Netflix Greenlights Roblox Adaptation Directed by Roman Polanski
LOS ANGELES — The Roblox movie is finally happening, and it’s coming to Netflix, with…
Six-Armed Image of Goro Clearly AI Generated
BOSTON — An image of Mortal Kombat Shokan sub-boss Goro returned by a Google search…
Ex-Naughty Dog Dev Looking Forward to Healthier Crunch Culture at New North Pole Job
NORTH POLE – Things are looking up for Dan Weston, a former Naughty Dog employee…
Featured Posts
Mastercard and Visa Clarify That Lesbian Porn Still Okay
NEW YORK — In a joint press conference, Mastercard and Visa reassured the global community today by confirming that lesbian…
Triple H Reveals Record-Breaking Third Female Character Archetype
Following the success of WWE’s newest PLE “Eternal Conquerors,” Paul “Triple H” Levesque teased the pro-wrestling world with an announcement…
AI Prompt Writer Struggling with Suicide Note
SAN FRANCISCO — After numerous attempts, AI prompter, and Twitter troll, Freddy “Sweet Nut” Stevens has failed to conceive a…
I Read Josh Gad’s Memoir So You Don’t Have To
Okay, so truth be told, I did not read this. I listened to the audiobook on a Bluetooth speaker during…