Quentin Tarantino Steps on Lego Piece, Orgasms
LOS ANGELES — In a return to The Bret Easton Ellis Podcast, famed film director, Quentin Tarantino, shared that stepping on Lego blocks with his bare feet can bring him to orgasm. Tarantino shared this latest revelation while breaking down …
“Death by Lightning” Reveals President James Garfield Hated Mondays
LOS ANGELES — Netflix’s new historical miniseries “Death by Lightning”, which focuses on the career and ultimate assassination of the 20th U.S. President James Garfield,… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Continue reading this gem</a>
#RestoreTheSnyderverse Guy Changes Address On Anthrax Envelope
Ganondorf’s Minions Suffer Existential Crisis Following Seventh Blood Moon Resurrection
HYRULE KINGDOM — Legions of Ganondorf’s horrible henchmen have reported suffering an existential crisis of sorts following their seventh resurrection back to this mortal plane… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Get the full story</a>
Quentin Tarantino Changes Opinion of Paul Dano After Seeing Him Say the N-Word in 12 Years a Slave
HOLLYWOOD — Writer-director Quentin Tarantino has revised his earlier negative opinion of actor Paul Dano after seeing him say the N-word in 12 Years a… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Get the full story</a>
Link Missing After US Military Blows Up King of Red Lions
Townspeople Furious After Samus Aran Repeatedly Drives Motorcycle 120 MPH Through School Zone
GALACTIC OUTPOST 673 — Residents of the Galactic Federation outpost held an emergency town meeting last night to determine how to tackle the issue of… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Continue this tale</a>
Health Concerns Grow After Professor Oak Forgets Grandson’s Name Again
PALLET TOWN — Professor Oak was seen visibly confused over the weekend after once again forgetting his own grandson’s name while handing out another Pokédex… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Ganondorf’s Minions Suffer Existential Crisis Following Seventh Blood Moon Resurrection
HYRULE KINGDOM — Legions of Ganondorf’s horrible henchmen have reported suffering an existential crisis of sorts following their seventh resurrection back to this mortal plane… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
I Don’t Like You Either, Pal (Guest Column by Myles MacKenzie)
Listen up, nerds—and this time, I don’t mean that as a compliment. For weeks, the internet has been abuzz about my appearance in the Metroid… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Read more nonsense</a>
Local Man Enjoys Playthrough of Prince of Persia in Spite of White Guilt
SAN FRANCISCO — Bay Area gamer Wilson Holt has revealed that he is enjoying his time playing through the Prince of Persia series despite his… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Video Games
How to Turn Off Your Ad Blockers So You Can Watch The Game Awards
The biggest night in gaming is right around the corner and with it comes the ever-present question, “How do I watch The Game Awards?” Fear not, reader. I have the SEO-focused instructions right here for you. The biggest celebrities, the…
Ganondorf’s Minions Suffer Existential Crisis Following Seventh Blood Moon Resurrection
HYRULE KINGDOM — Legions of Ganondorf’s horrible henchmen have reported suffering an existential crisis of…
Guest Removed From Dionysus’ Party for Decent Exposure
MT OLYMPUS — A mild kerfuffle erupted at a party hosted by Dionysus when a…
Townspeople Furious After Samus Aran Repeatedly Drives Motorcycle 120 MPH Through School Zone
GALACTIC OUTPOST 673 — Residents of the Galactic Federation outpost held an emergency town meeting…
Link Missing After US Military Blows Up King of Red Lions
CARIBBEAN SEA — Scattered flotsam is all that remains of Link’s ship after being struck…
Featured Posts
Mastercard and Visa Clarify That Lesbian Porn Still Okay
NEW YORK — In a joint press conference, Mastercard and Visa reassured the global community today by confirming that lesbian…
Triple H Reveals Record-Breaking Third Female Character Archetype
Following the success of WWE’s newest PLE “Eternal Conquerors,” Paul “Triple H” Levesque teased the pro-wrestling world with an announcement…
AI Prompt Writer Struggling with Suicide Note
SAN FRANCISCO — After numerous attempts, AI prompter, and Twitter troll, Freddy “Sweet Nut” Stevens has failed to conceive a…
I Read Josh Gad’s Memoir So You Don’t Have To
Okay, so truth be told, I did not read this. I listened to the audiobook on a Bluetooth speaker during…