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Hard Drive Reviews: ELDEN RING

Elden Ring — a veritable golden shower of video game splendor. It was 2022’s Game Of The Year according to almost every panel, and is to date one of the biggest games ever made in terms of both scope and sales.

How could we possibly intend to tackle such a big helping of game in just 25 minutes? The answer: with a big mouth.

Hard Drive Reviews is a review series in which we are attempting to review a game whilst also never once using the words “good,” “bad,” or any of either words’ countless synonyms. Should we make such a catastrophic mistake, a lifetime of shame shall befall our families and our children shall be cursed.

“Worst,” “worse,” “better,” and other terms are relative terms by the way! And do not mean “good” or “bad” on their own and are thus fair game. Words with good or bad connotations do not equal words that mean good or bad.