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Well, Well, Well, Mom Says She Can’t Pause Online Bridge Game

Isn’t it interesting where we’ve found ourselves, mother? It was not so long ago that our roles in the computer room were reversed. Me in the swivel chair, you standing under the taxidermied mountain goat in the corner. 

And yet here we are, mother. I’ve been cooking for hours and your birthday risotto is on the table, getting colder by the minute. It would be easy for you to stand up from the chair and come to the dining room.

But…what’s that you say, mother?

You. Can’t. Pause. Your. Online. Bridge. Game?

Say it again, mother. Let those dulcet words ring in my ear.

It seems like only yesterday that I was in that chair myself, tanking Z’maja in the execute phase of veteran Cloudrest + 3 hardmode, when you called from the kitchen to say that dinner was ready. And I said nothing, because I was on voice chat and I thought my guild would make fun of me. And then you waved your hand in front of the computer and said that the enchilada casserole was going to get cold and could I please pause the game and finish it after dinner, and then we wiped and I got kicked out of my guild for not “being committed to difficult trials.”

Do you remember it, mother?


Isn’t it funny, life’s little ironies?

Because here we are, and what’s that I hear? That you’re playing Bridge with real people online, and if you leave your partner @ecuadoran_goren in the middle of a “slam attempt,” he’ll have to forfeit and that wouldn’t be fair to him? That you’ll lose rank points?

Is that so, mother?


I’m too disappointed to make a joke about whatever a slam attempt is.

The choice is yours to make.

I’ll be in the dining room eating cold risotto.

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