As you may have already heard, a week ago it was reported that a major video game developer, Insomniac, was hacked and a myriad of top secret details about their upcoming games was released. The gaming community was abuzz wondering how this could happen and who was responsible. Luckily we Hard Drive reporters were able to find the person responsible. Even more impressive, we were able to set up an interview with them and while they insisted on remaining anonymous they answered all of our questions about the leak.
Hard Drive: Hey thanks for sitting down with us, we really appreciate it!
Hacker: You’re very welcome, just as long as no one finds out who I am!
Of course not, Clank. So, what motivated you to hack the company you work for and leak all their secrets?
Well quite frankly I was worried all these new Marvel projects would put me and my partner out of a job! This company would be nothing without us, they’ve made millions of bolts off of our hard work and I could not simply stand by and let these mutants take our jobs.
Wow that’s quite the statement. Do you have any proof that Insomniac plans to let you go or reduce your role in the company?
The proof is already out there. We’ve only had 2 major projects since 2016, meanwhile, they’ve already released 3 Spider-man games since then. After everything we’ve done for them, all they care about is profits, they don’t even stop to think about the people they left behind. Our old coworker, Spyro, doesn’t even have a pension. He had to raise money on kickstarter to afford a new kidney.
Wow that’s awful, is that Spyro the Dragon?
No comment.
Let’s change the subject, how were you able to hack through the firewall?
*Giggles* Why it was no trouble at all, my programming allows me to access all of their files in an instant when connected to their server. They would have known their system was vulnerable had they read any of the hundreds of memos I sent them.
You tried to warn them this attack was possible?
Yes I did! They ignored me of course. They were likely too busy laughing at all that insufferable Spider Boy’s quips. Well, who’s laughing now. *giggles*
Thanks again for this interview, just one more question, it seems in the leak that Insomniac is actually planning the release of another game featuring you in 2029, do you have any details about that title?
Yes… Unfortunately it’s just a Flappy Bird rip off where you tap the screen and make my head go up and down through obstacles. Please buy it when it comes out. Captain Qwark’s hospice bills are really piling up.
