Hard Drive is excited to share some huge news: we have become part owners of an Overwatch League eSports team! At least, we think we have. Soon, you will see our logo on the shirts of The Oakland Yetis, or else we just got scammed by some savvy seventeen-year-olds.
We were approached by a group of fine young up-and-coming eSports stars looking for corporate partners to get their team off the ground. Or aspiring con artist looking for an easy mark! We didn’t want to seem like we didn’t know anything about eSports so we just pretended to know who they were and ended up forking over a $5,000 check on the spot.
They said their names were Dee Jay, C. Jack, Ace, F.A.N.G., Twelve, and Necro — which we thought were all awesome gamer handles! We didn’t realize they were characters from the Street Fighter series until one of our interns told us. Of course, that might be just a coincidence.
Or a scam!
F.A.N.G. was wearing a shirt with a picture of an N64 controller on it, which we figured only a real gamer would do. Necro claimed to have played for the Tokyo Kaijus — a team we had never heard of, but to be fair, we haven’t heard of 99% of eSports teams.
We don’t want to cancel the check and get called fake gamers, so we’re going to see how this pans out. We are a small website, however, and had to let a copy editor go in order to afford this. Best wishes to Marcus, our colleague and close friend of many years.
We would tell you to follow The Yetis, but it turns out they don’t have a Facebook, Twitter, or any other social media account. Which is weird, right? Right?!
They told us they were already sponsored by n00b Keyboards, FUKU Gaming Chairs, and D33znutz Graphic Cards, which as I type now I realize probably aren’t real companies.
God damn it.
Anyways, if you see The Yetis competing, make sure to cheer them on. Oh, and let us know where, because they aren’t responding to any of our texts.
GO YETIS or give us our fucking money back!
We’ve launched a brand new podcast network. Check out the newest episode of the Hard Drive podcast where we watch and discuss every episode of 1989’s The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!