BELLEVUE, WASHINGTON – Valve announced a new policy today restricting the sharing of adult games on Steam to members of a user’s step-family, oddly aroused sources confirmed.
Gabe Newell, Valve co-founder, said the new policy was based on trying to create the perfect gaming fantasy.
“We’ve all been there, right? You’re just minding your own business, playing some steamy visual novels, when suddenly your step-sibling walks in on you but they actually want to join. That’s what this update is for,” he said.
The rule update, which requires users to verify their step-family status through a rigorous process involving DNA tests or just saying the word “step-bro” one time, has been met with a mix of praise and criticism.
“I don’t think my step mom wants to play with me to be honest,” one Steam stepson said. “But even if she did she’s always busy getting stuck in the washing machine.”
Valve’s legal team has been working overtime to address any potential issues with the policy, such as the risk of users exploiting the system by pretending to be step-siblings when they aren’t – or even worse – pretending to be actual siblings.
At press time the Epic Games store has announced they’ll go one step further and allow users to swap games with a friend’s step family.
