Press "Enter" to skip to content

Valorant Player Halfway Through Most Toxic Rant You’ve Ever Heard Offered Daily Wire Show

LOBBY – A Valorant player halfway through the most foul, shockingly ignorant rant you’ve ever heard over voice chat has reportedly been stopped halfway through his tirade and offered a weekly show at The Daily Wire.

Sources confirmed that Daily Wire representatives were quick to reach out to the conservative media prospect, who goes by the username MgtowMike, after being thoroughly impressed by the sheer level of toxicity and highly engaging rage bait content he managed to spew in a single match.

“We knew we had to have him on board,” said a Daily Wire spokesperson. “His ability to take any news item and turn it into a sign of the collapse of western civilization is one of the best we’ve ever seen. This is why we have talent scouts.”

The rant, which spanned approximately 45 minutes across two servers after he was kicked from the first one, reportedly covered topics ranging from the supposed cultural inferiority of MgtowMike’s teammates to wild accusations about the personal lives and citizenship status of rival players.

“I was just in the zone, you know?” MgtowMike told reporters when asked about the epic speech which landed him the Daily Wire gig. “I’ve never let anything stop me. Not the censors, not the matrix, and not my .43 K/D.”

The Daily Wire has announced that MgtowMike’s new show, tentatively titled “Triggering Headshots,” will premiere next month. The show is expected to feature the gamer’s trademark blend of unhinged rants and mediocre gameplay footage.

“We’re thrilled to have MgtowMike join our lineup,” said Daily Wire founder Ben Shapiro. “He’s promised us he will promote his show by tagging Elon Musk even more frequently and desperately than Jordan Peterson does so we’re expecting big things.”

At press time, MgtowMike was reportedly in negotiations for a book deal and a speaking tour at various harassment campaign Discords.

We\'re giving away 50 Hard Drive t-shirts and other merch items to Patrons this week.
Become a patron at Patreon!