FLORENCE, Italy — College freshman Dan Peters was left speechless earlier this morning, claiming he was stunned at the level of detail Florence has in accordance with Ubisoft’s Assassin’s Creed 2.
“It looks just like the game,” said Peters, pausing to marvel at the famous Santa Maria del Fiore dome while zooming in with his iPhone 6 camera. “They got every detail right. The red color of the brick is totally accurate and the rooftops look exactly how they did on my Xbox 360. This place is nuts!”
Dan’s mother, Joan Peters, was also impressed. “I didn’t know Dan was such a history buff,” she explained. “We thought he’d never agree to a family vacation, but he’s really getting into it. He seems to know so much about Florence already.”
As his mother and sister geared up to take a family photo in front of the cathedral, sources say that Peters hung back and fondly touched the building’s exterior. “It feels like coming home,” the 19-year old Illinois native said with a contented sigh. “The mind might forget at first, but the body remembers.”
The rest of the tour group then reportedly struggled to listen over the sounds of Dan talking to himself, which lasted for about 45 more painstaking minutes.
“I hate this stupid building. I remember trying to get that fucking feather. I spent so much time trying to climb those little pegs or whatever on the outside of the dome. It’s all there,” he shook his head in disbelief. “Damn…I have to replay this game.”
A fellow member of the tour group was not impressed with Dan’s enthusiasm. “Every couple of minutes that kid looks around and asks ‘Where’s the hay?’ in a weird voice,” said the agitated tourist. “Whatever that’s in reference to, he needs to stop. I paid a lot of money for this trip.”
When asked what it was like to walk over Florence’s oldest bridge, the Ponte Vecchio, Dan became visibly agitated. “I dunno. I just felt really stressed out the whole time,” he shrugged, desperately trying not to think of the side quest he failed at that location six times in a row. “I’m not sure why, but I didn’t really care for it.”
At press time, Dan and his family were reportedly trudging behind another group of tourists while Dan bragged that he could climb to the roof in 5 minutes if they would only let him.
