NEW YORK CITY — A photograph taken by tabloid outlet TMZ which features Taylor Swift playing a Sega Game Gear, a portable gaming console from the 1990s, has caused major disruptions in the preowned gaming industry, sources have confirmed.
“Busiest week of my life,” said Bert Grantham, owner of Bert’s Bits, a used gaming store in Brooklyn. “Lately, I’ve been struggling just to pay my bills, but Monday I come and open up, and all these girls in Taylor Swift shirts say they need Sega Game Gears, and they need them now. I sold out of games, accessories, damn near everything. These girls were so curious about video games all of the sudden, they were buying strategy guides to stuff they didn’t even have. Then all the ones who arrived after I sold out of Game Gears threatened to put me out of business.”
The surge of new customers proved curious to established patrons of Bert’s Bits.
“Doesn’t really make sense to me,” said Troy Agnew, a regular customer. “She’s on a tour bus all the time, plus now she has time to kill at her boyfriend’s football games. Every reason in the world to own a handheld console. Also, please remember that Taylor Swift can afford to get into whatever hobby she wants, even collecting retro video games. I think it’s cool if a bunch of Swifties get into gaming, but they’re just not able to have the same experience she is. Maybe at least download some emulators and see if you like it before you make it your whole thing, you know?”
As of press time, Swift had announced her next stadium tour would be composed of “probably about half Sonic covers.”