MELBOURNE — Representatives from House House, the company behind the popular Untitled Goose Game, are reportedly very self-conscious over still not being able to come up with said title, frustrated sources with one just on the tip of their tongue confirm.
“I can’t believe we released it without one. C’mon, man, think! Thiiiiiiiiink!!! It’s been almost five years now!” wailed designer and House House co-founder Stuart Gillespie Hook, while intensely staring at a scale model of the Goose Game like a forsaken god. “The damn thing still doesn’t have a proper title, and it’s starting to get a little ridiculous getting my ass kicked by upset gamers over that fact every day on my walk to and from work. THIIIIIINK, DAMN YOU!”
Amid the uproar, contemporary artists across the world have attempted to bolster the non-titling of the work.
“We modern artists have been not-titling our greatest creations for centuries!” said oatmeal-sculptor Hiram Trythall, as they slopped a spoon into a big vat of dyed-purple steel-cuts and tried to make it look like ‘wartorn Pittsburgh’. “Sure, it makes alphabetization an absolute shit-show, but we as artists need to come together and agree: sometimes coming up with a title is too damn hard and some of us are quite lazy! Untitled Goose Game stays, huzzah!”
Nintendo officials couldn’t believe the gaffe, and have spent years fielding irate phone calls since the game’s release.
“Every second of the damn day someone’s calling in from around the world thinking their game’s defective because it came without a title. Buddy, call me when there’s no goose, THEN we’ll have a real problem,” said Nintendo helpline attendant Phil Silanti, while chain smoking three cigarettes simultaneously. “I swear, the last time we had this much trouble was when we released Minecraft and dummies started complaining ‘why is it YOURcraft???’ Christ…”
At press time, House House was nearing a unanimous decision on the perfect name: Titled Goose Game.