KYOTO, Japan — Legendary Nintendo designer Shigeru Miyamoto alarmed fans and coworkers alike earlier today with his unprompted announcement of several new Pikmin sequels to be released over the next few years.
“I’m go glad you’ve all been enjoying The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom,” said Miyamoto, in a surprise Nintendo Direct video that was uploaded this morning, reportedly without the knowledge of internal Nintendo employees. “But who cares? Let’s talk about the really exciting things in our company’s future; namely Pikmin 4, 5, and 6! That’s right, beginning right now, the majority of our focus will be on developing and releasing a new trilogy of Pikmin games. The rumors are true.”
The announcement was met with a excitement at a public watch party.
“Oh my fucking god!” exclaimed one fan that watched at a public viewing held at Nintendo New York, the popular Manhattan gaming store. “They’re really doing it. I can’t believe it. For years they said Miyamoto’s vision for Pikmin was too big, but here we are! Let’s fucking goooo!”
However, not everyone at the event shared their excitement.
“Wait, they’re really making more Pikmin games?” asked another fan in attendance. “Not a word of Metroid Prime 4 or Nintendo’s next console, but they’re pedal to the medal on Pikmin? You really have to admire Nintendo’s commitment to doing whatever exact weird shit they’ve set their mind too, huh? Oh, and if they read these, please don’t sue me. Thanks, Nintendo!”
As of press time, a cackling Miyamoto closed the Nintendo Direct with an announcement that a remastered version of the original Pikmin trilogy would be coming to the Switch sometime soon, as well as showing teasers for several new games, including Pikmin: Tactics, Pikmin: Origins, and Pikmin + Rabbids in the Vietnam War.