WASHINGTON — Leaked documents reveal that the U.S. government was attempting to cover up the existence of 2012’s third-person shooter Spec Ops: The Line.
“The documents in question are falsified. We have no record of there ever being a game called Spec Ops: The Line,” said White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. “Maybe you’re thinking of another Spec Ops game? Or perhaps a Call of Duty? Medal of Honor…? Wow. Remember those games? They were fun, right?”
Government officials insist that the game never existed and assert it’s another mass misremembering event also known as “the Mandela effect.” Government sources say this refers to many people believing that Nelson Mandela became the Dig Dug world champion in the 1980s despite Mandela actually winning in 2013.
Some people have come forward with claims that they experienced the game first-hand.
“I played it, man. I was in the mud. I saw things. I was ordered to do things that I’m not proud of. The linear gameplay gave me no choice,” said a whistleblower who wished to remain anonymous. “This isn’t the first time they’ve done something like this. Remember the Apocalypse Now game that Killspace was working on in 2017? Every company that even came close to signing on as publisher mysteriously went bankrupt right before a deal was made. The whole story reeks of government interference.”
The White House made an official statement addressing the claims head-on.
“Military video games are strictly about salt-of-the-earth Americans winning wars against Nazis, Russians, the Taliban, and cybernetically modified space demons traveling from portals between Mars and Hell.” said White House Principal Deputy Press Secretary Olivia Dalton. “The idea that there was another Heart of Darkness adaptation where the player is ordered to commit atrocities while second-guessing the ethics of the country they’re serving and seeing first-hand the horrors of war and what it does to the human psyche is absolutely preposterous.”
François Coulon and Cory Davis, alleged game directors of Spec Ops: The Line, were not heard from when reached out for comment.
