We’re all guilty of spending too much time online, but some of you definitely spend too much time online. You’ve probably had someone tell you to “touch grass”, but don’t know where to start. Luckily for you, we’ve compiled a list of the Top 10 Grasses you can go out and touch.
10. Kentucky Bluegrass
Kentucky Bluegrass is one of the most common grasses you can find in North America. It is thought to have come over with European settlers in the 17th and 18th centuries as they established roots in the Kentucky region.
Chances are you can walk outside your house, apartment, or basement and easily find some Kentucky Bluegrass to run your hands though. It’s so easy to find you can probably find some within range of a Wi-Fi signal, but that would kind of defeat the purpose of this article.
9. St. Augustine Grass
If you live in the Southern United States, the Mediterranean, Caribbean, or other tropical climates, St. Augustine Grass is your cultivar of choice. An interesting characteristic of St. Augustine Grass is that it is vegetatively propagated and there is no such thing as St. Augustine Grass seed you can purchase.
Once you find a patch, run your hands through its characteristically coarse blades and soak up some vitamin D that you are most likely deficient in after spending all your time arguing about the inclusion of a minority in the latest AAA game.
8. Common Reed
Depending on how badly you need to get out and touch grass, Kentucky and St. Augustine might not cut. You’ll have to venture into the wetlands where you can find the Common Reed. Growing up to 20 feet (6 meters) tall, you can envelop your whole self in a thicket of reeds and forget all of your stresses.
Or if you run into someone else, you can argue whether or not the Common Reed is an invasive species in North America and fulfill your need to argue with strangers about topics of little consequence.
7. Bermuda Grass
Despite its name, Bermuda Grass isn’t from Bermuda and is considered an invasive species there. With a soft feel, you can let the blade brush against your skin and help you remember the world outside social media.
It is most commonly found on lawns and on the sports fields of professional teams you swear you could manage better with your one-year experience on a junior varsity soccer team.
6. Bamboo
Though it may not look like what you think of when you hear the word “grass”, Bamboo is in fact part of the Poaceae family of grasses. There are over 1500 species of Bamboo across the world and if you live in a warm climate, you can probably find some to touch.
Bamboo also has tons of uses, cultural significance, and environmental benefits. However, we aren’t going to list them here so that you have to go look them up and hopefully take you away from that 1500-word Twitter essay about the current state of Star Wars that you’re writing.
5. AstroTurf
If you can’t easily find real grass nearby (which is concerning), some good AstroTurf can get the job done. Invented in 1964 and originally patented as ChemGrass, it was renamed to AstroTurf after being installed in the Houston Astrodome in 1966.
Don’t worry that it’s fake grass, touching AstroTurf still counts as real. The same way that your dating sim relationships are real and that no one else should ship them differently without your permission.
4. Lemon Grass 
Not all grasses you have to go out and touch. Some you can go out and eat. There is a high likelihood that you’ve consumed Lemon Grass in some way, shape, or form in the past.
One of its many medicinal properties is as a headache reliever, which you probably need after staring unblinkingly at your phone all day while trying to think of the perfect comeback to the Gen Z TikToker who made fun of your side part.
3. Pampas Grass
Pampas Grass, specifically the Cortaderia selloana, species is another tall grass you can lose yourself in. It also sports lush and fluffy (looking) leafs that would be irresistible to even the most terminally online person.
If you’re in the UK, and a little more adventurous, a patch of Pampas Grass in front of someone’s home may indicate that the couple living there are swingers. This may or may not be factual, so take caution before you go knocking on doors.
2. Fine Fescue Grass
Fine Fescue grass can be easily identified by its long, wavy grass blades that may resemble the hair of your romantic partner you canceled plans with to make sure you won an argument about politics in 1980s South America in the comments of a Facebook post about local trash pickups.
However, this is the only grass on this list that we’ll give you a pass on touching. Fescue pollen is a significant irritant for those with hay fever. Though there are nine other options to choose from on this list, so you’re not off the hook.
1. Zoysia Grass
Named after Karl von Zois by German botanist Carl Ludwig Willdenow, Zoysiagrass makes the top of our list due to its thick, carpet-like feel that can be inviting to any barefoot adventurer. It is commonly found on golf courses where you are sure to find people who have no idea what the current Twitter drama is. Or that Twitter is now called X. Or what Twitter really is.
Seriously, we all spend too much time online and could benefit from less of it. Go out and touch grass.
