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Third Amendment Rights Invoked To Prevent Random RPG Heroes From Sleeping in Civilians’ Bed To Rest

THE KINGDOM OF ANCIENTIA — To prevent adventurers from just walking into their houses and heal themselves from all their injuries by sleeping in their beds, residents in Waltdrop Village have invoked their third amendment rights, which grant them the right to deny any soldier from forcibly living in one’s home.

“Listen, we’re just a small little farming community, removed from most of society, right next to the legendary cave holding the Crystal of Chaos,” said the village carrot farmer who organized everybody in the village together to assert their rights. “We all know the King himself sends these moochers to come down to the cave to get the Crystal for the glory of the kingdom and all that nonsense; it’s time we assert our constitutional rights and keep them out of our homes!”

Many Waltdrop villagers echoed these sentiments; however, some members of the village were supportive of invoking third amendment rights for other reasons.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong; I want soldiers to come into where I live; I don’t even have a bed here!” stated the local shopkeeper. “But my store is just packed with potions and tents adventurers can use to rest, and if demand for my goods happens to increase, who am I to complain?”

Despite the overwhelming support from within the village, many heroes were upset at this news, claiming that the villagers didn’t understand the stakes involved.

“Okay, maybe it’s a small inconvenience when somebody just breaks into your house and jumps into your bed, and sure, maybe every hero says they’ll be the one to get it,” said the self-described Hero of Light. “But according to the King, obtaining this crystal will restore peace to the world. Trust me; once we get this Crystal of Chaos and hand it off to the King’s royal advisor, order will return to this realm! You’ll be happy I crashed in your bed.”

At press time, many adventurers, afraid that more villages might invoke their third amendment rights, have gone on side quests to buy homes of their own as an investment, which in turn has caused the cost of homes in the kingdom to skyrocket.