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The Weeknd Announces Permanent Residency in Fortnite Item Shop

HOLLYWOOD — It’s an exciting time to be a Fortnite player, with global pop sensation The Weeknd announcing he’ll be a part of the virtual world until we’re literally all dead.

“Oh yeah we’re gonna keep the Battle Bus rocking forever and ever” exclaimed Abel Tesfaye, who goes by his stage name The Weeknd. “I’m incredibly excited to make one million dollars every week because of this new partnership.”

The world-renowned singer and artist made his Fortnite debut back in December, forever changing the way kids crank the 90s and yell about hackers. For months, The Weeknd could be seen sitting in the virtual store, practically begging five-year-olds to purchase him with their parent’s credit card. This new, unprecedented collaboration with Epic Games means that The Weeknd will be available via the item shop forever.

Many gamers wondered just how long The Weeknd would be staying in the shop, with a big component of Fortnite being its timed exclusivity. Other skins like Black Widow, Deadpool and the infamous Renegade Raider skins have not been rereleased in the shop for quite a long time, giving them legendary status. However, with the news of a permanent residency in the shop, players no longer need to worry, as they have an infinite amount of time to purchase and play as him.

As part of the deal, The Weeknd also announced that he is working on a new album that will be exclusive to Fortnite. Players will need to purchase the next battle pass and reach level 850 in order to unlock the album, which will delete itself after one listen in order to maintain its exclusivity.

“It’s got drums, it’s got piano, it’s got a triangle, should be real goated on the sticks or whatever. It’s gonna be unlike anything you’ve ever heard,” Tesfaye said while lighting a cigarette with a lit 100 dollar bill.

The Weeknd is far from the first real-life celebrity to be added to the game, with past updates bringing rappers like Travis Scott and world-renowned sandworm enjoyer Zendaya to players’ lockers. All of these skins come at a price, but it’s a small price to pay for your very own tiny version of The Weeknd.

Although the Weeknd seems to be feigning excitement for this partnership, close friends of his revealed he’s just happy to have people stop talking about the debacle that was The Idol on Max.

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