MONTREAL — Sources have confirmed that Sweet Baby Inc., the video game consultancy firm known for forcing wokeness into video games, has been detected in the recently announced Marvel 1943: Rise of Hydra as the story trailer indicates Captain America will be fighting Nazis.
True gamers like Waylan Creasy were immediately able to pick up on Sweet Baby Inc. having tampered with the popular superhero.
“They think they’re slick, but they aren’t. It’s really obvious when they shove politics into these games,” said Creasy. “We just want a fun Captain America video game and we could have had one but instead, they had to shove wokeness into the game and have Cap fighting Nazis. And with a black person, no less. That has Sweet Baby written all over it. Everybody knows there were no black people in World War II. At least, that’s what I learned at my high school in Florida.”
“All the Sweet Baby hallmarks are in that trailer,” Creasy continued. “Black people where they don’t belong, women where they don’t belong, and forced political messaging. We just want to be able to enjoy a game without feeling like we’re getting lectured, but they want to indoctrinate gamers to the left by making Captain America fight Nazis like they’re all evil.”
Phillip Jordan, a game blogger with a suspicious number of cover up tattoos, felt that Sweet Baby’s influence had tarnished a game he’d been looking forward to since its announcement.
“When it was first announced that a Captain America game was in the works I was really excited,” Jordan said. “I love Captain America but this is not the Captain America I know. Cap is a symbol of our great nation, but they’ve turned him into a woke leftist. He’s supposed to represent all Americans no matter what, but I can’t support a Captain America that thinks half of America’s population is evil.”
Even billionaire tech entrepreneur Elon Musk weighed in on the new game.
“Nothing is a bigger threat to free speech than wokeness, and now they’ve made the one superhero who should be defending free speech into a woke who punches his political opponents,” Musk said on X, formerly Twitter. “The left is trying to incite violence, as always. Who knows what would have happened if Don Lemon had played this game before our interview? Woke must be stopped.”
At press time, gaming Youtubers were seen prepping their video essays explaining categorically why Captain America would never fight a Nazi.
