Executives from the small narrative consulting firm Sweet Baby Inc are happy to report that you need no prior knowledge of GamerGate to enjoy GamerGate 2.
“Oh we’ve been loving it,” one Sweet Baby executive shared after being forced inside a secure, undisclosed location. “Our engagement metrics are through the roof. Last month we had almost no one showing up unannounced to our offices. This month we’re up 14,512% in what we’re calling ‘unscheduled in-office feedback sessions.’”
According to reports the mood around the office bunker at Sweet Baby Inc is light and jovial, with several of the younger employees and interns enjoying GamerGate 2 despite not knowing much about the original GamerGate.
“All the old people in the office would reference it,” Sasha Birch, 20, said. “But millennials are always talking about weird stuff so I just ignored it. Now that GamerGate 2 is finally here I’m just glad I can relive the whole thing. I had tried to go back and learn about the original GamerGate but all the YouTube videos are super long and the people in them look very unwell.”
One online commenter, who asked to remain anonymous, said he belongs to a fundamentalist gamer group who believes Sweet Baby Inc invented People of Color as an attack against his group.
“All of Western Civilization hangs in the balance,” he said of character bios in a sci-fi RPG. “I will not cower. I will charge bravely into the comment section of each and every actresses’ Instagram post who dares challenge traditional gamer values. My father fought in Gamer Gate 1 and I’m honored to get the chance to serve.”
Although a general distrust of the media made interviews difficult, another group member said, “Maybe Sweet Baby Inc did some annoying corporate HR stuff I don’t know, but I have a job so I’m too busy to talk about any of this. I mostly ignore my Discord friends, they’re kinda nuts.”
As of press time much of the internet was reportedly holding its breath hoping the whole thing passes and we don’t need to talk about it for years to come.
