VIRIDIAN CITY — A recent survey conducted by the Pewter University Research Institute revealed that 76% of female Pokémon trainers would prefer to face a territorial Ursaring rather than a male trainer while traveling through the dense and shadowy Viridian Forest.
“Honestly, I’ll take my chances with the Ursaring,” said trainer Lass Brittany. “It might be a 6-foot-tall, 200-pound bear with claws that can shred my Nidoran in one hit, but at least it doesn’t mansplain about catch rates or keep talking about its EV training strategies while blocking the path.”
Pokémon researcher Scientist Nina at Pewter University explained some of the reasoning behind the survey results.
“The results clearly showcase female trainers’ growing frustration with unsolicited advice, aggressive battle requests, and forced small talk about the best Eevee evolution. With Ursaring, at least you know where you stand. It’s not trying to convince you that Magikarp is actually ‘really deep’ because it ‘represents personal growth.’ It just roars, swipes a little, and even avoids you when you toss a Repel. Male trainers, on the other hand, often see Repel as simply playing hard to get and will approach anyway.”
Respondents of the survey — which also revealed that 65% of female trainers would willingly trade away one of their shiny Pokémon if it meant avoiding all male trainers on any given route — frequently cited encounters with male trainers who sprinted to initiate battle after simply making eye contact.
“Last week, some Bug Catcher popped out from behind a tree to challenge me,” said trainer Picnicker Susie. “I thought it was just another regular battle, but after I beat his Beedrill, he condescendingly explained the weaknesses of my Weepinbell — which I didn’t even use in that battle. When I tried to leave, he yelled, ‘Wow, just gonna walk away from me? You never know who might be hiding in the tall grass.’ What am I supposed to do with that?”
Male trainers in Viridian Forest defended their behavior, however, insisting that they are just trying to be helpful.
“I don’t see what the big deal is,” said trainer Youngster Joey. “If I’m explaining why her Pikachu’s Quick Attack is trash, it’s because I’m trying to help her be a better trainer. The least she could do is smile and be appreciative.”
At press time, a male trainer was seen running after a female trainer shouting, “Wait! Let’s trade numbers so we can breed my Nidoking with your Nidoqueen!” while an Ursaring quietly observed from the bushes.
