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Opinion: That’s Enough Pictures of Spider-Man

Screenshots of the popular video game Spider-Man 2 are now circulating around the internet. Thanks to some stellar art direction and a robust photo mode from Insomniac Games, these screenshots are a marvel — but there’s one problem: There’s TOO DAMN MANY of them. This is NOT what I asked for when I said I wanted more info on the game! I am sick of seeing pictures of Spider-Man!

The first thing you need to understand is that not all of us have 30+ hours to sink into a game on opening week. Stop lording your Symbiote suit over us! This influx of SPOILERS and SEO-bait YouTube videos needs to stop. We should be leaving that kind of coverage to the PROFESSIONALS! 

If I want every suit in the game explained, I can check IGN on my own time. Or maybe the Hard Drive guides section BUT THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT. Who asked for your stylishly lit suit profiles clogging up my Twitter feed, Venomcum69? You think I’m on YouTube looking for “SPIDER-MAN 2 ENDING + POST-CREDITS SCENE (4K, SPOILERS)” on my Recommended feed? Hey dipshit! It’s not a spoiler warning if your thumbnail has the spoiler!

(Nice shot though. Were you using custom lighting?)

Secondly, it is infuriating that Sony is promoting this kind of degenerate behavior with their “PlayStation Share of the Week.” Why was “Spider-Man” the weekly theme? That’s a GAME, not a theme! Stop asking your fans to promote specific games! I like it MUCH better when the theme is something abstract and creative, like “Red” or “Tears,” that 3 people will see. THAT’S photography, baby!

Finally, what is up with this meme…

…Captioned with some bullshit like “Me, playing Spider-Man 2 at 4am” and “My friend, online on PSN to play Spider-Man 2 at 4am?”

How is that funny? I’m sorry, but this format was getting old to begin with and then it peaked with the new Spider-Verse. It’s time to retire it. Thank God there’s no blank template with the game version floating around yet… You nerds would be insufferable.

We should be celebrating the hard-working devs at Insomniac; NOT the MENACE known as Spider-Man. Gamers, journalists, and content creators alike: I call on you to end this scourge and post your favorite screenshots from the game’s credits instead. Let us be done with Spider-Man 2

(Until I finish the rest of the game, give me like 3 weeks).