DISNEY CASTLE — Sora, an adventurer known for his heroism in the ongoing Organization XIII conflict, has found himself at the center of a debate over the unwritten dress code at Disney Castle.
“It’s one thing to wear such casual garments in combat against the darkness,” royal adviser Yen Sid told reporters at a courtyard press conference following a meeting with King Mickey and his allies, including Sora, “but wearing them around this esteemed castle, especially in the presence of the king, is a breach of decorum, and lowers royal standards at a time when they should be at their highest.”
Though Yen Sid has historically refrained from making public statements—rarely even straying from his tower—Sora was unsurprised that his manner of dress had compelled the normally reclusive sorcerer to speak out.
“This is just more of the same from Yen Sid,” said Sora. “Every time I see that guy, he gives me a new outfit with slightly longer pants. Donald gets to run around with no pants at all, but I wear clothes in front of His Majesty that Yen Sid himself picked out, and that’s a bridge too far. At this point, he should drop the pretense and give me one of those red apprentice getups he loves so much. Nothing like freeballing under a robe to bring some class back to Disney Castle.”
Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather, Yen Sid’s tailors in residence, corroborate Sora’s claims about the origins of his controversial outfits. In fact, the fairies say they have even made at least one similar outfit for King Mickey, to which the king alluded while expressing support for Sora in a statement of his own from the castle audience chamber.
“I have a lot of respect for my mentor,” King Mickey Mouse said, “but the great Yen Sid is wrong on this one. I love two-way zippers, impractical lapels, plaid accents, and fun little straps everywhere. Even on shoes that already have laces. And I’ve never been the kind of king to stand on ceremony, so I fully endorse Sora’s attire and invite Master Yen Sid to join us on the right side of history whenever he’s ready.”
The king went on to say that there are much bigger problems to focus on, like keeping the names and backstories of all the different Xenahorts straight.