NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Local gamer Alan Polk was outraged after the purchase of his new GTRACING X2090 gaming chair after discovering that despite the name, the furniture contains zero playable games on it.
“I’m filing a lawsuit as soon as possible,” Polk said. “Not one single fucking game. Not even Brick Breaker, or Solitaire! I’ve been plugging various controllers into it for the last two hours and it seems I paid $300 for a chair whose only special quality is that it’s red. I don’t even think it has backwards compatibility with other chairs. You may say I’m spoiled, but I think when a man buys a piece of furniture in this technological age, it should at least have Minesweeper on it.”
A spokesman for GTRACING gaming chairs Richard Montoya defended the company’s product.
“With a GTRACING chair, sitting is all the fun you need,” Montoya explained in an email. “May I note, as well, that the chair’s only special ability is not just ‘being red.’ It’s red AND black, which we feel gives it an exhilarating feel just to sit in. These gamers just can’t be happy with anything. Our chairs are perfectly functional the way they are, as boring run of the mill furniture. Although, you could just think of putting the chair together as an immersive puzzle game, gamers go crazy for stupid shit like that.”
To placate consumer demand for entertainment being attached to the chair, a future model of GTRACING chairs will be outfitted with an infant nursery mobile spinning over the chair.
