KYOTO, Japan — Surprising news from Nintendo this week as Shigeru Miyamoto has let the world know that yes indeed, Yoshi has a cloaca. It’s unclear how much this quandary was affecting the public consciousness, but regardless the matter has been settled.
“I get this question all the time when I make public appearances and frankly I just wanted to put the question to bed,” Miyamoto said when asked why Switch 2 games would be priced so high. “The rumors are true though, all yoshis have cloacas and were always intended to. Fans have always wondered if Yoshi has a penis! Of course he does not. I intend to go into great detail about the anatomy of Yoshi to answer all inquiries into his genitalia.”
Reporters were vexed why the video game mogul had decided to talk at length about such a topic in the wake of questions about the Switch 2 and Mario Kart World, but Miyamoto pressed on:
“You see when two yoshis mate they perform what is called a cloacal kiss. It’s a beautiful process that we’d like to show our fans up close in a new Yoshi Story game coming exclusively to Nintendo Switch 2 for the very reasonable price of $149.99.”
Some fans have reacted positively to the news while others have not been so enthused about learning more into the body make-up of their beloved character. Many wonder what this means for other Nintendo characters.
“So everytime Yoshi lays an egg it’s coming out of a cloaca? I mean I guess that makes sense but it feels weird to know that I guess,” said Sam Toniton of Chicago, Illinois. “I like to play as Yoshi whenever I play Mario Kart but now it just seems different. What does this say about Birdo? Does Birdo have a cloaca too?”
Oddly enough, Miyamoto later answered that question when asked why Nintendo products never seem to come down in price saying, “Yes it’s true Birdo does have a cloaca, but in that big snoot thing on her face. She does have a butthole though.
