LONDON — After teasing a complete overhaul earlier in the year, Sega subsidiary Sports Interactive has announced in a video shared on social media that Football Manager 2025 will be nothing more than a Google Sheet full of rosters, shared with gamers for a “modest fee.”
“Players have been clamoring for more customization, more tactical options, training routines, management styles, you name it. After digging into the top feature requests from Football Manager 2024, we had an epiphany. We know what fans really want: a spreadsheet,” said Nevaeh Yates, Studio Director for Sports Interactive.
“We’ve been overthinking this for years. The game’s structure was too restrictive. Our groundbreaking new version? It’s the epitome of freedom. We’re talking about a fully loaded roster in a Google Sheet, yours for just $59.99. The future is now!”
Die-hard fan Adeline Henderson is over the moon with the announcement.
“This is exactly what I’ve been dreaming of. It’s the ultimate customization! I used to pine for enhanced scouting or even just women in the game, but what I really yearned for was the raw power I could only get from building everything myself,” said Henderson.
“Now I can tweak simulation algorithms to my heart’s content, cook up custom formulas for random score generation, and let’s not forget the sheer joy of conditional formatting. It’s not just football anymore; it could be any sport I want. Baseball, Quidditch, competitive pillow fighting — the cell’s the limit!”
Dash Sawyer, a columnist for The Feature Report, loves this innovative approach.
“While the gaming world has been occupied with building ever-expanding sandboxes and big-budget blockbusters that overwork their dev teams, Football Manager has stripped it down to the bare essentials: the dopamine rush of realizing you have the highest number. They’ve effectively merged the power of simulation games with fantasy sports into a fully editable database that can power your dreams,” said Sawyer.
“Seriously, what can’t a spreadsheet do? You could be constructing a soccer roster on one tab, managing your monthly budget on another, and simultaneously tracking your Christmas list — all within the same file. Pure genius.”
At press time, EA Sports announced they “didn’t know you could do that” and hastily scrapped Madden’s franchise mode, redirecting their efforts to full-screen ads for MUT packs.
