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Scientists Fear Starfield May Spread Across Multiple Console Generations

ATLANTA – The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention along with the Entertainment Software Rating Board are warning the public of a possible Starfield breakout that could spread across multiple console generations, according to statements made by ESRB President Patricia Vance in a joint press conference this morning.

“We’re watching the situation as it unfolds, but if this strand is anywhere near as aggressive as Skyrim, we’re looking at a port window period that could spread as far as the PlayStation 8,” Vance said to a room full of media. “It’s likely there’s already a Console Zero among us. Starfield could be running on a PlayStation 5, right now.”

This revelation shook the room to its core. The silence was only broken by an uproar of questions. Vance, remaining calm, answered questions about safety precautions.

“You need to isolate yourself from family, friends, really anyone with an Xbox, PC, or a Game Pass subscription. If you’re around them you are at risk of catching Starfield,” Vance said. “PlayStation 5 gamers are the most at risk of catching Starfield. If you own a PS5 you need to isolate yourself. Switch gamers are not currently at risk, but with Switch 2 right around the corner all bets are off. If you catch Starfield this console generation, you are at risk of carrying it through to the next generation.”

At the conclusion of the press conference, Todd Howard, Director of Bethesda Games Studio issued a press release calling the CDC and ESRB’s claims unfounded.

“We cannot currently confirm nor deny the existence of Starfield on the PlayStation 5, PlayStation 6, PlayStation 7, PlayStation 8, Switch 2, Switch 3, Gamecube 2, PSP 2, or the PS Vita 2. Any future announcements will come from our partners, if there are any announcements” wrote Howard. “What we can say is that we delivered a top notch Xbox experience with Starfield that gamers will enjoy for generations to come.”

At press time, Todd Howard had confirmed the existence of Skyrim for the Nintendo Switch 2.

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