NEW YORK — Concluding decades of informal debate, scholars have unanimously declared the great American novel: the adaptation of popular NES game Mega Man II from 1990.
“I think we can call it, this is as good as it gets,” said esteemed author and critic Arthur Worthington of the novel, part of the Worlds of Power anthology that also included Ninja Gaiden and Bases Loaded II. “The characters, the action sequences, the imagery. This is the novel in its finest form, and I cannot wait to read it again and again. And at a slim 73 pages, it can be done pretty easily!”
The declaration was made at the end of a three day conference held to determine which book deserves the reputation of “The Great American Novel.” Several books were reportedly in the running before the beat-up copy of Mega Man II started circulating the event and winning the panel over.
“With my apologies to Twain, Faulkner, and Hemingway,” said Samuel Prescott, a literature professor at Yale and fellow attendee of the symposium. “I think Ellen Miles’ tale of fatherhood, betrayal, and a kid throwing boomerangs at robotic monkeys, is the quintessential American novel. It tells a story of man and machine, of humanity’s inherent desire to conquer and control the environments around them. And of course nature pushes back, and they meet resistance from the personification of these elements in the form of Metal Man, Air Man and Wood Man. Powerful stuff.”
“I’m, uh, still trying to work out how Bubble Man fits into it all,” he continued. “But that’s what great art does, it challenges you to keep thinking long after you finish. This book should be taught in every classroom in America, plain and simple.”
As of press time, the gathered scholars were thrilled to find out there was a video game version of Mega Man II that they could play.
