KITCHEN TABLE — Rookie Dungeon master Jared Grundleson, has seemingly run out of words to describe the starting location of his brand new campaign with his friends, disappointed sources confirm. According to his players, follow up questions about the bustling tavern their adventure begins in have shown a lack of preparation and care.
“What’s the bartender’s name? I didn’t even think they’d care to ask! Why don’t they just focus on getting to know each other instead of all the characters in the bar I forgot to give names to,” Jared mumbled to himself while quickly googling “Elf barkeep name generator.”
“I thought I summed up just fine the busy atmosphere and the loud music played on lutes and pan flutes in the establishment, but now these guys want to order drinks and expect me to know what’s on the menu? I don’t know, ale? Grog? Fantasy tea?” Grundleson said, clearly at his wits end.
Grundleson’s players seemed utterly confused why he seemed to be acting so stressed after being asked what they described as “pretty basic questions”
“I just wanted to hear the latest gossip,” said Tony, one member of the group playing the role of Klarf Hornbreaker, orc barbarian. “You’d think Jared would have had a few rumors prepared in case we asked. It kinda seems like he had two or three good paragraphs written down to describe the scene we find ourselves in, but past that he’s got no clue.”
Grundleson seemed to really panic when his friend Sam asked him if he could go outside the tavern so his character could have a smoke.
“Outside the tavern?! It’s the first session and they already want to go outside and do other stuff? They’re supposed to just talk to each other and learn their backstories and then maybe talk to a quest giver! They’re moving so fast I better find a way to keep them in this one location or I’m gonna have to start naming a bunch more people,” Grundelson posted on his snap story along with a selfie of his face looking incredibly grim.
At press time, Grundleson’s players were reportedly just finishing up speaking with a wizard on the second floor who tasked them with slaying an ancient dragon in the basement.
