DETROIT – A RimWorld fan meetup last week has been reportedly revealed as a thinly-veiled organ harvesting operation, surprisingly pretty relaxed attendees confirmed.
“Yeah, I mean, I kind of expected this,” said meetup participant and newly minted organ donor Louis Salim, casually adjusting his mechanical ventilator. “It’s RimWorld, after all. I’m just glad they used a proper medical bed and not some shoddy sleeping spot on the ground.”
The meetup, which began at a suspiciously-themed back alley bar called “Thrumbo’s Horn,” quickly devolved into a full-blown organ harvesting frenzy, sources confirmed. Attendees report being plied with RimWorld-inspired drinks like “Luciferium” and “Mindscrew” before waking up several hours later, missing various vital organs.
“I had a feeling something was up when the guy next to me kept asking about my kidney health,” admitted another participant, who asked to remain anonymous and was found in a McDonald’s dumpster. “But hey, at least they didn’t harvest my heart. I’m saving that for a special someone, you know?”
Authorities say they’ve attempted to partner with local gaming stores to track new buyers of the game, but mostly remain at a loss of how to deal with RimWorld-obsessed organ traffickers.
“Every time a new expansion comes out, these reports pop up like clockwork,” said Detective van Boldt of the Detroit Police Department. “We basically just let it run its course unless we see too many human leather hats being flaunted in public.”
As for the RimWorld fan community, they remain unfazed by the recent events.
“Honestly, this just adds to the immersion,” said one fan, proudly displaying a poorly healed surgery scar.
At press time, the city of Detroit was bracing itself for the recent release of RimWorld – Anomaly, with the DPD preparing for an influx of reports involving eldritch abominations and pulsating obelisks in the downtown area.
