Press "Enter" to skip to content

Pallet Town NIMBYs Fighting Construction of Fourth Building

KANTO — Pallet Town residents, led by a local woman simply known as ‘Mom,’ are fighting construction plans by the Pokémon Leauge for a proposed fourth building in their town. 

“I hate the Pokémon League.” Said Mom, getting ready to mail a pair of running shoes. “They already took my eleven-year-old son from me, now they want to build a Pokémon Center right outside my door? Trainers from all over Kanto will be loitering around, trading and healing each other like some big orgy. I won’t have it! The last thing I need is some random punk barging through my door and searching my trash for a potion. And what if they build a Gym? Should I be ok with seeing a roided up Machop out my window? Gyms attract undesirables. Especially if it’s poison type. Everyone knows that.”

Giovanni, current de facto leader of Silph Co. spoke on the benefits of building a new Pokémart on the site.

“These small town hicks don’t know what’s good for them!” Giovanni said, slowly stroking his Persian .”A Pokémart would bring jobs and industry to Pallet Town. Who wouldn’t want unlimited access to antidotes and escape ropes just steps away from home? I’ll admit, building a store for a market of around eight people is not a great idea. It’s mostly a real estate scheme. But it still helps Pallet Town. I mean, how do these people live? I’m pretty sure to get to the closest store you have to trek through a Caterpie infested forest. I know I’m an evil villain, but I really don’t feel like I’m the bad guy here.”

Professor Oak, a local scientist, is unsure if he wants Pallet Town to grow.

“It’s tough,” he said. “On the one hand, it’d be a huge win for the Pokémon community at large. On the other, it’d bring in competition and lower the value of my lab on Zillow. I expressed my concerns to a colleague of mine and he called me a NIMBY. At first I was excited because I thought NIMBY was a new Pokémon. Turns out it’s a derogatory term for someone who just wants to keep their property value up. I’d like to see Bill’s reaction when they decide to build a Pokémon Center up near that precious seaside cottage of his.”

As of press time, another resident of Pallet Town who wished to remain anonymous was quoted as saying, “Technology is incredible! But I don’t want any of that incredible tech in my backyard!”