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Pajama Sam Players Dispute They’re ‘Not Real Gamers’ and ‘It Is Bedtime’

PHILADELPHIA — Fans of the popular point-and-click series Pajama Sam are fighting back at claims that their game of choice makes them inferior to other gamers, and that, furthermore, they should soon be putting on their own pajamas and going to bed.

“I’m tired, I’m cranky, and I’m not going to take this anymore. The stereotypes are so unfair,” said 8-year-old Jackson Smith. “Some people think that because I play Freddi Fish and Pajama Sam that means I’m not a ‘real gamer,’ whatever that means. It makes me so mad I could curse, if I knew any curse words.”

Jackson and his posse of other loyal Sam fans say enough is enough, and that they will only go to bed once their demands are met and they’ve finished this particularly hard puzzle involving freeing some carrots from a fridge.

“No, I’m not yawning! No Need to Hide When It’s Dark Outside is a really, really tough game. Why else would my dad have had to help me on a couple of things I got stuck on?” says Olivia Martinez, 9. “The lack of respect we receive from the gaming community and grown-ups in general is shocking. Did you know that 90% of players like me report being laughed at for trying to join in on conversations with our older siblings about speed-runs and optimum loadouts? And I’m rubbing my eyes because I’m angry, not because it’s 8pm.”

Parent Alicia Rhodes says the series of puzzle-solving games give her a rush of nostalgia whenever she sees her kids playing them, but that she is glad that they have thus far been rejected by the larger gaming community.

“I loved Putt-Putt and Pajama Sam when I was a kid. I think meeting Lightning in those formative years is why I’m attracted to skinny guys with high-pitched voices,” she said. “But, come on, as I’ve explained to them countless times, adult gamers are disgusting bearded perverts. Why my kids are so keen to be accepted by them is beyond me. And I know they’re only bringing this up now because I told them to finish up and go brush their teeth over 15 minutes ago.”

At press time, Jackson denied claims that he will forget all about this in the morning.

“No way! If anything I’ll be even more mad,” he yelled, as he was carried off to his bedroom.

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