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Opinion: Trust Me Dude, Just Buy a PS5, We’ll Totally Play Together

Listen, we’ve been friends for years now, and I think it’s time we take our brotastic adventures one step further. So, I need you to trust me when I say that if you buy a PlayStation 5, we will totally, absolutely, no-doubt play together. 

Now, I know that in the past my follow-through has been lackluster, and even though D&D wasn’t my fault and nobody really enjoys Jackbox anyway, I can tell you have some reservations. Let me state for the record that I am one hundred percent committed to playing multiplayer video games on the PS5 with you, in perpetuity. I don’t understand why you won’t get on my level. This time will be different, I swear. 

I know you’re more of a Nintendo guy, but just think of all the games we can play! I mean, there’s Fall Guys and Monster Hunter: World and CoD Warzone and Apex Legends — so many options! Well, maybe not Fall Guys — the lobbies are full of cheaters and it’ll probably be dead soon. And Apex Legends is dead. Warzone’s kinda fun, but it’s super toxic. Maybe Destiny 2? Nah… yeah I guess Warzone’s fine.

I don’t get what’s so hard about this. It’s just an upfront cost of like $499, an extra sixty for any game (but really you’ll want like three), another hundo-twenty a year for online, maybe another fifty if you want to get a second controller. Honestly, sacrificing north of seven hundred dollars so you can wade through a cesspool of Heated Gamer Moments with me for an hour every three weeks max seems like a small request. 

Oh, and they just announced the Xbox Series X is coming out. We absolutely need to buy a pair for Halo: Infinite.

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