KYOTO, Japan – Multinational video game company Nintendo has officially changed the name of Nintendo Entertainment System, or NES, to “Regular Nintendo” 39 years after its initial release, sources report.
“Such action is merely a formality at this point,” President Shuntaro Furukawa said. “Ever since the release of the Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES) in 1990, the NES has been referred to as ‘Regular Nintendo’ in households all around the world. As far as I know, only gaming elitists have continued to insist on referring to it by its original name. Nintendo prides itself on always putting the customer first, and this is just the latest example of us listening to them and responding in a timely and courteous fashion.”
Gamers across the world were quick to respond to the name change.
“Oh, I always just assumed that’s what it was called,” posted long time gamer Zack Parker. “When I was a little kid, we called it ‘Nintendo,’ and when the SNES came out, we called it ‘Regular Nintendo.’ Who cares? I don’t really understand why Nintendo is focusing its efforts on this when I’ve been dealing with Joy-Con drift for almost a decade. They might as well not even bother now, as the successor to the Switch is coming out next year. I swear, if I wasn’t such a Zelda guy, I would’ve sworn off Nintendo years ago.”
Sociologist Ashley Garcia provided insight into the situation.
“It’s actually very common in gaming for colloquialisms to be used more often than official titles,” Garcia offered. “For instance, I’ve only ever known the Super Scope as the ‘Super Nintendo Gun,’ and Mad Catz gaming peripherals have historically been referred to as ‘the shitty one.’ It’s puzzling that Nintendo is just now choosing to rename a console that’s older than most of the users of its products. As a gamer myself, I echo the concerns of Nintendo’s fanbase when I say the company could be spending its time and resources more productively.”
At press time, Nintendo was also renaming Super Mario Bros. 2 to “The Mario Where You Pick Things Up Instead of Smash Them.”
