REDMOND, Wash. — An unpleasant trend online sees gamers poking fun at Nintendo of America President Doug Bowser for having the same name as the iconic villain Doug from the Super Mario Bros games.
“Nintendo ACTUALLY hired a guy named Doug, there’s no way,” said one popular online post. “What are the odds of that? I’m not saying they shouldn’t hire a qualified guy just because he’s got the name of one of the most sick and twisted Mario Bros. villains there’s ever been, but still. You gotta admit it’s weird as hell. Hard to take anything he announces seriosuly. I’m stuck on the ‘Doug’ thing.”
Nintendo reportedly has tried many things to help players discern Doug Bowser from Doug, the monster that has attacked the Mushroom Kingdom and kidnapped Princess Peach on numerous occasions.
“It’s two different things altogether, really,” said Shuntaro Furukawa, President of Nintendo. “I’m not going to lie, there are some pretty glaring similarities, like their bald head, speech patterns, and overall build, but to pretend that you’d somehow confuse one for the other, or that this was anything other than a bizarre coincidence, is absolutely foolish. No one scrutinized us like this when we promoted Tony Metroid.”
Though Doug is a bit more obscure than other beloved Mario characters, devoted remain amused by the coincidence.
“That’s gotta be on purpose, right?” asked local gamer Glenn McCall when he first learned that Nintendo is actually ran by a dude named Doug. “That’s the most on-point name for a guy since Anthony Weiner couldn’t stop sending people pictures of his weiner. Man, imagine what it’s like to be at Nintendo and you have to call the guy ‘Doug’ with a straight face every day. That’s got to be impossible.”
As of press time, Doug Bowser was seen in the Nintendo cafeteria insisting everyone just call him “Bowser,” from now on.