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Mother 3 Fans Overrun Japanese Borders in Desperate Asylum Bid After Nintendo Direct Disaster

TOKYO – Japanese immigration officials are reportedly struggling to keep up with unending waves of Mother 3 fans landing on their coastline in improvised ships and flotation devices, following a disastrous Nintendo Partner Direct announcement the game would only be available on Nintendo Switch Online in Japan.

“We can take no more Mother 3 fans,” said Haruto Abiko, head of Japan’s immigration office. “You can visit our country for some short period with the proper paperwork, figure out how to download the game, but then you must return home to what I assume is a very shameful lifestyle.”

Official numbers are in dispute, but some estimates are that as many as 200,000 Mother 3 fans have already landed on the coastline as well by commercial airline.

“I am fleeing the political persecution of my people,” one Mother 3 fan said while sneaking out of a plane’s cargo hull. “If I can’t play this game I might as well be dead. So if you turn me away my blood is on your hands.”

The situation has reportedly caused international concern, with the UN calling a special meeting to decide on next steps.

“The millions of people displaced by this Nintendo Partner Direct has the ability to destabilize the region,” said António Guterres, Secretary-General of the United Nations. “I am calling on all leaders to take in some of these poor souls. We took a few and they aren’t that bad – a little awkward sure, can’t really make eye contact – but ultimately fine. Good at computers too.”

While several political leaders in Japan have applauded the Mother 3 fans and their “right to game,” some far right organizations announced a protest against government plans to provide each gamer migrant with a Nintendo Switch charging cable and $10 E-shop gift card.

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