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Mom Said It’s My Turn on Hard Drive (Guest Column by My Little Brother)

Editor’s Note: The following article is from my little brother, as my mom said I’ve been on Hard Drive for long enough and that it was time to let him have a turn or else. I am not allowed to edit or adjust it in any way. Please bear with me.

Hi! Mom sed itz my turn on Hard Driv so bruther had 2 let me yooz the compewter haha. I dunno wat 2 rite abowt tho. Bruther sez I gotta tel jokez abowt videeyo gamez. I liek videeyo gamez. My favrit game iz Mine Craf but I maek bruther put it on peesful cuz 1 time a creepeer sneeked up on me and bloo up and I screemd so lowd it woke every 1 up cuz it was reely layt and I got in truble cuz I was supozed to be asleep cuz I had skool in the morneeng. I can tel a joke abowt Mine Craf ummmmm y didnt Mine Craf Steev buy a howse? Cuz he can just bild wun DUH! I liek uther gamez too. I play a lot of Pokeymon and Lego Star Worz and also sumtiems I play Fort Niet. I dont hav any jokez for thoze gamez tho. Fort Niet iz hard. Wen I die in Fort Niet I want 2 say bad wurdz but Mom wont let me so I say them in my hed so she cant heer them. Mom told me no 1 can heer wat u say in yor hed cuz yor skul iz 2 thik 4 the wurdz yor brayn sez 2 get thru so they just bownce riet bak 2 yor brayn and thats why only u heer them. In yor hed u can say as many bad wurdz as u want! Bruther sez them out lowd tho sumtiems wen he playz Ellen Ring. Bruther told me in Ellen Ring you fite monzters cuz u want 2 mary this 1 laydee. I thank its calld Ellen Ring cuz her naym is Ellen and u want to giv her a weding ring and kiss and say I luv u and stuf. Yuk! I dont hav any jokez abowt Ellen Ring neether. Ellen Ring is 2 boring and scaree and u cant bild anything. They shud hav the boogie bom from Fort Niet in Ellen Ring so u can throw it and maek the monzters danse haha. Oh wayt I hav a Ellen Ring joke now. Why did Ellen not want to mary bruther? Cuz he farted untill he died! Dont tel bruther I told u that tho. Enyway I dont wunt to rite anymor. The end. Bye!

Editor’s Note Cont’d: I sincerely apologize for what you just read. I promise future articles will be the high caliber satirical gaming news you are used to. Until my brother gets another turn that is.

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