Press "Enter" to skip to content

Mario Concerns Gamers by Freezing Midway Through This Morning’s Nintendo Direct

Mario concerned fans and Nintendo executives this morning after bizarrely freezing halfway through this morning’s Nintendo Direct presentation. 

“Mario is fine, he just had too much pasta last night,” said a press release issued by Nintendo immediately following the troubling display during this morning’s showcase of Super Mario Bros. Wonder, the gaming icon’s upcoming game. “While we understand these continued incidents are concerning to gamers, we urge everyone to remember how resilient Mario has been for all these years. Why is it normal if a Dry Bones comes back to life, but if Mario stares into some sort of existential abyss for a few moments everyone panics? It’s completely unfair.” 

Some gamers, however, thought there was more to the story. 

“They can’t keep trotting him out there like this,” said Joe Miller, a local gamer that was concerned about Mario’s wellbeing. “I’m 40, and that guy has been bouncing off the walls since I was a little kid. Look at him. He’s tired. That was so sad the way Luigi had to walk him out through the start of the stage and finish the demo. No one wants to see that.” 

Super Mario Bros. Wonder is slated for release on October 20, possibly sooner if Mario dies.