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Man Playing ‘Animal Crossing’ Shops for Clothes for First Time in 10 Years

MIDDLEBURY, Vt. — Local gamer Greg Stephens visited the Able Sisters clothing shop this morning to purchase new items for his Animal Crossing character, marking his first clothing purchase at any store, real or virtual, in over a decade.

“When I plopped down 1,750 bells for that Biker Jacket, I felt my entire world shift,” said Stephens, 35, wearing a Life Is Good t-shirt his mother bought him when he was 15 years old. “Until now, I literally never understood why anyone would buy new clothes if they didn’t have to.”

Stephens praised Nintendo’s efforts to make the fashion in Animal Crossing both world-class and accessible, to the point that he understood for the very first time why someone might venture out in search of clothing that fits their own style and personality.

“I honestly don’t know what made me buy it. I was just messing around because I had already sold my fruit and hit my rocks for the day. When I saw it, I was just like, ‘Oh, that’s cool.’ Then I walked into the fitting room and tried it on, and I was like, ‘Ohhhhhhh. That’s cooooool. My little guy looks good. Like, really good,’” Stephens said of the “mind-blowing” five minutes he spent in the shop. “So, yeah, I’m totally into fashion now. I get it.” 

When asked to elaborate, Stephens insisted that he had left his past life behind forever.

“Fart Attack Island now has a Bunny Day Wardrobe full of options like Caveman Tank, Balloon Hat, and Steampunk Glasses. The old me would have never seen the value in that.”

However, when pressed on whether this Animal Crossing trip might inspire a real-life trip to his local clothing store, Stephens was hesitant.

“Oh, for me? No, I’m good. I already have DMB tour shirts from four different years, a few flannels, a hoodie and a pair of jeans, so I’m set.”

The interview was then cut short as Stephens went looking for his misplaced chain wallet.

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