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Man Logs 2000 Hours Being Wrong and Weird About Games Online

WORLD WIDE WEB — Michael King has now logged over 2000 hours being wrong and weird about video games online, impressed sources confirmed.

“I mean yeah of course he’s wrong, lots of people are,” one online onlooker said. “But he’s also managed to be consistently weird the entire time as well. 2000 hours, and not a single normal thing has come out of him. Obviously you might think it’s easy to be weird about digital pubic bones on video game characters but he’s taken the whole thing to the next level.”

King, a self-described champion of the silent Gamer majority, credits an attention to detail and dedication to his craft for the successful run.

“It’s not as easy as it looks,” King said. “I rewrite each sentence over and over again until there’s not even the smallest amount of self awareness left in it. It can take me hours to write a single tweet about video games which is sufficiently wrong and weird. I have to be one of the top 5 in the world right now.”

Experts say King is truly one of a kind.

“A lot of people have attempted to do what he’s done, but no one else has the staying power,” Daniel Cunningham of the Gamer Performance Institute, which tracks online stats for Gamers, said. “We’re talking petitions, podcast appearances, meltdowns, sting operations, discord drama – just every situation you can think of and this guy doesn’t break from being wrong and weird for a second. He’s one of the all-time greats.”

Many in the field have opinions on how King operated at such a high level for so long, with comparisons to the late-great Notch being thrown around.

“Everyone knows he’s weird and wrong, sure – but one of his overlooked abilities is how desperately, painfully horny he also appears,” Tammi Hallow, a researcher with the University of Melbourne’s performance psychology department added. “He’s so inherently horny he doesn’t even seem to understand that all his fixations and takes have a deep sexual undercurrent. And he brings that out into public. Routinely. This really adds to the weird factor and I think his imitators and competitors would be wise to follow the strategy if they ever want to catch up.”

As of press time King was reportedly watching a trailer for a new game and cooking up one of the most impossible to ignore, hyper engaging, weird takes of all time.

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