BOSTON – Gamer Michael Thompson, 27-years-old and surrounded by his own filth, has perfectly organized the ultimate mining and manufacturing base in Factorio, equally impressed and concerned sources confirm.
Thompson’s Factorio base, a sprawling industrial complex, is reportedly a marvel of organization and optimization that perfectly mines and manufactures all the necessary potions and components to create massive amounts of plastic, modules, and all of the game’s most advanced items. Also, it can hardly be seen over the massive pile of shit on his desk.
“In the game, he’s this genius problem solver and engineer, crafting delicate processes and multitasking perfectly,” said Thompson’s roommate, Alex Chen, 28. “In real life I can’t get him to process the notion of buying a little trashcan for his room, he just throws trash over his shoulder and keeps playing.”
Thompson’s mother, Janet, 62, expressed concern over her son’s living conditions after a recent video call.
“He started with his camera off and I had to beg him to turn it on,” she said of the call. “I couldn’t even see his face over the junk and I just kept hearing ‘click click click.’ I think he was still playing. I pray for my little Michael every day.”
Thompson remains unfazed by criticism and shrugged off the concerns of friends and family.
“A lot of the greats had cluttered desks. It’s all about priorities,” he said, delicately balancing an empty-ish Gatorade bottle on top of a tower of old Doordash orders. “I’ll get around to it eventually.”
Experts suggest that Thompson’s behavior is not uncommon among dedicated gamers.
“Oh yeah we see this alot in young gamers, but sometimes it goes the other way,” said Dr. Emily Nguyen, a psychologist specializing in gaming addiction. “I once treated a boy who had hundreds of speeding tickets and even a vehicular manslaughter charge. When he played GTA he stopped at every red light. Scary kid.”
At press time, Thompson was seen ignoring an army of ants attacking his desk in favor of defending his Factorio base from a wave of biters.
