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Looting Animation Even More Immersive the 2,174th Time

DAYTON, Ohio — Local gamer Francis Maynard praised the looting animations in Red Dead Redemption 2 as “incredibly immersive,” especially when performed for the 2,174th time.

“I think it’s really cool how Red Dead shows you the whole process. You see Arthur Morgan leaning down, rolling the body over, checking each of the pockets, then putting the loot into his bag. It really immerses you in the game,” said Maynard, who has killed and looted thousands of people in Red Dead Redemption 2 while home sick this week. “It’s just like real life.”

Maynard claimed every looting animation was necessary to the story, but the 2,174th one had an especially big impact on him emotionally.

“So, I’m in Van Horn, right? And it’s right after I shot this random guy, because I was bored and wanted to see what would happen if I shot him. And then, as I watch Arthur Morgan lean down, roll the body over, check each of the pockets, then put the loot into his bag, I think, ‘Wow, Arthur Morgan sure is looting that guy he just shot.’ It was heavy, man. I’m not ashamed to admit that I cried at that moment,” said Maynard, who later killed everyone else in Van Horn and fled with all their valuables. “Never tell me video games can’t be art.”

When reached for comment, Rockstar Games thanked Maynard for the praise.

“Our mission with Red Dead Redemption 2 was simple: Create some of the most tedious chores ever rendered in a video game, and to do it with exhaustive attention to detail. We want to immerse you fully into the experience of carrying a bale of hay from one place to the next, then getting another bale of hay, and another,” said Sam Houser, President of Rockstar Games. “We’ve heard your requests — ‘Can we walk a little faster with the hay?’ The answer is no. You have to be extremely slow with the hay. Going faster would ruin everything.”

At press time, Maynard was complaining about the “way too long” load time of 45 seconds.