INDIANAPOLIS – Steve Barker, 24-year-old mechanic and casual gamer, just doesn’t see what the big deal is with Lethal Company. His friends hounded him to get the game, but even as he begins his first attempt at looking for valuable scrap, he’s finding it pretty relaxing moments before having his neck brutally snapped.
“I have no idea what my friends were going on about. Sure, there are dark hallways, and some scary ambience. But if I’m being honest, I don’t think it’s that scary,” said Barker, in-game for his first attempt during our interview. “Look, I just found a couple of metal bolts. Job done, Shelly. Hey, Shelly? Where’d you go?”
On-site sources attempted to contact Shelly, Steve’s friend with whom he was playing, but there was no sign of her within the entire facility, barring a vaguely humanoid shape wrapped in spider silk hung from the ceiling. They did, however, manage to get in contact with Mark, who had remained in the ship while the other two went in.
“Hmm? Steve? Oh yeah, he’s gonna die pretty soon,” said Mark, pausing the music that was coming out of a turntable he had just purchased with the crew’s remaining money. “You guys like the music box? It was 50% off. Pretty nice, right? Oh yeah, back to Steve. There’s something moving around him, really fast. I think it’s a Bracken. Surprised he isn’t dead already.”
This brings us back to the still undeterred Steve, who’s flashlight had just run out of power. He was carrying an engine of some type, wandering through the dark in the general direction of the exit.
“Yeah, I dunno. Maybe it’s a bit eerie now that my light gave out. Really hoping to run into Shelly… maybe she headed back already,” said Steve, who had not yet noticed the set of white eyes following him from behind. “It’s basically just a salvage simulator. This game isn’t that scary.”
Steve’s next comment was cut short by a pair of dark hands reaching out from behind him. Within a matter of seconds, Steve’s body was carted off around a corner. Steve’s last words were, “OH F**K!”
There was an attempt to reach the Bracken who had assaulted Steve, but the creature was seemingly unavailable for comment.