LOS ANGELES — Actor/fighter Jonathan “Johnny Cage” Carlton decided to try his luck with alt-right podcasting following a series of critical and financial failures at the box office, sources report.
“After ‘Cage Match’ lost money, it was time to make a change or go broke,” Cage noted. “Luckily, I knew I could just learn from Kevin Sorbo and say my career woes are because of Hollywood discriminating against Republicans. I’ve since started the ‘Awake, NOT Woke’ podcast, and I’m making more money just going on weekly rants on whatever subject Fox News has boomers angry about at the time I’m recording. I’d rather be acting, but I need to be realistic about funding my lavish lifestyle. These $500 sunglasses aren’t going to buy themselves.”
God of Thunder Raiden reacted to his friend’s decision.
“I can’t believe this is the same Johnny Cage that defeated Goro and helped defend Earthrealm from the Outworld Emperor,” Raiden lamented. “I checked out his podcast, and he and his guest Ted Cruz were whining about some trans kid in Georgia who wanted to play high school volleyball, as if that is something either of them should give a shit about. I’m just going to have to remember him as the guy who sliced the top of Scorpion’s head off with a flaming shield, not the guy who’s currently complaining about how the ‘feminization of America’ is the reason nobody wants to watch his movies anymore.”
Video game sociologist Rebecca Dawes weighed in on the situation.
“Alt-right politics is often seen as an escape chute of sorts for struggling actors,” Dawes mentioned. “The same also applies to video games. For example, Dracula briefly became a conservative political writer after Castlevania 64, and Leon Kennedy famously lobbied against the creation of a T-Virus vaccine to draw attention to himself after Resident Evil Re:Verse. Unfortunately, because of the hellscape we all now inhabit, this is seen as a lucrative career pivot. He’s going to make millions from it.”
At press time, Cage was being criticized by his right-wing contemporaries for saying Donald Trump shouldn’t run for a third term.
