Nowadays, Hulk Hogan is considered a mediocre, overhyped, delusional, racist hasbeen, but due to his selfless behavior in my showing of “Gremlins 2: The New Batch,” he will always be a hero to me.
When Hulk appears in the news these days, it is to spout a constant stream of easily debunked lies. Whether it’s saying that Elvis was his biggest fan despite being dead before Hulk debuted, allegedly turning down offers to join both Metallica and the Rolling Stones, or saying that he worked 400 days a year because he did so much international travel.
In 1990, my parents decided to move to suburban Livingston right at the end of second grade and I didn’t have time to make friends. Summer came and the Jewish Community Center’s Day Camp was abuzz about “Gremlins 2: The New Batch.” I had taped the original off Channel 11, and after seeing how depressed I was, my father relented and agreed to take me to the movie on my birthday since I didn’t have any friends to celebrate with.
We were enjoying the movie from the balcony of the Millburn Cinemas, when sound became warped and the film started flickering! The film burned and it was just a white screen. We had no idea what to do. Gremlins appeared on the screen and started doing shadow puppets. Even then I knew Gremlins weren’t real, (and for the record, I know wrestling’s fake too), but we figured it was either disgruntled workers or somehow prankster teens in the projection booth. My dad sent me to get an usher. I looked around, and no one was in the lobby. I went back up the stairs, I heard Hulk Hogan’s unmistakable voice, and by the time I got back to my row, the crowd was cheering and the movie was back! I asked Dad what happened and he said some bald blond guy got them to start the movie up again. Wow! Impressive move from a man who uses racial slurs as foreplay! That’s when I knew Hulk Hogan was a true hero! For the rest of the movie, I peeked over the railing to see if I could spot the man who took time away from ratting out unionizing wrestlers to come to Central Jersey to save our movie experience!
I figured he would be swarmed outside the theater, but since we stayed to watch Daffy Duck’s hilarious commentary over the credits, we must have missed him leaving.
Eventually I made friends and one day we ended up watching “Gremlins 2,” and there was a break in the VHS version too! But it was completely different, with TV static, news clips, a bible epic, and John Wayne fighting cowboy gremlins. I tried to explain the scenario I witnessed, but they didn’t believe me.
Over the years, whenever I see Hulk Hogan, whether on a reality show creeping on his own daughter or being Peter Thiel’s pawn to dismantle freedom of the press, he always holds a special place in my heart. I just wish he was there in 2007 when I saw Grindhouse to find out why my theater had a scene missing.
