Hideo Kojima has blessed the world with the latest trailer for Death Stranding 2: On the Beach. Naturally the entire gaming world is buzzing but Hollywood is also buzzing and that’s much more important. It’s no secret that Kojima loves movies more than anything in the world and his games make no effort to hide their cinematic inspirations and aspirations. Well, Hollywood has taken notice of Kojima’s genius and as we all know, the world of cinema is far more prestigious and serious than gaming since there’s no gamers involved. So this is a pretty big deal.
We had the honor of approaching various famous Hollywood directors completely unsolicited to ask for their thoughts on Kojima’s latest piece of marketing. Here are their responses.
Spike Lee
“What’s the difference between Hollywood characters and Kojima’s characters? Kojima’s are real.”
Jane Campion
“I relate to the struggle of all these characters”
Sean Baker
“It should be played in a theater.”
The Russo Brothers
“I bet we could do that. With AI of course. And Kevin’s blessing and extremely detailed instructions on how to do it”
Sofia Coppola
“It doesn’t seem like the female characters have much agency of their own. Although I will admit all their little photo poses look really cute. But where the hell is Kirsten Dunst?”
Christopher Nolan
“Even I’m confused.”
Zack Snyder
“It’s got some style but there’s too much substance for my tastes. Don’t even get me started on the complete lack of slow motion and Ayn Rand.”
Francis Ford Coppla
“Where am I? I’m gonna be late to the Godfather Part 3 premiere.”
Jon Favreau
“Well I mean it’s better than Marvel.”
George Miller
“I wish I could make love to Kojima, he’s such a genius and I love him more than I love my own family”
Martin Scorsese
“Not long enough”
Woody Allen
“If Sam Porter Bridges doesn’t want to marry that baby, I will.”
Bong Joon Ho
“I like that it’s very weird but where is the class struggle?”
Ben Affleck
“Jen or Jen, if you’re reading this, please take me back.”
Mel Gibson
******* ***** ******* **** ******* ****
Great Gerwig
“I loved Boktai: The Sun is in Your Hands. I thought it was really beautiful. Really great.”
James Cameron
“Hell yeah! That’s what I’m talking about! Give me a fist bump.”
Ben Stiller
“Ah yes, Kojima, a fellow artist, such as myself.”
Clint Eastwood
“Get off my porch!”
Roman Polanski
“I didn’t do it.”
Guillermo Del Toro
“Where was I?”
Jordan Peele
“Why is the only black person wearing a mask?”
Bryan Singer
“Did Woody Allen already call dibs on the baby?”
M. Night Shyamalan
“I consulted on the ending of this where Sam reveals he’s really Noramn Reedus, oh whoops I gave it away.”
Also Ben Affleck
“I forgot to ask. Can you bring me some Dunkin?”
John Krasinski
“He’s making those deliveries for the world but he’s really doing it for his kid and that’s beautiful. The only thing holding it back from being perfect is no CIA representation.”
Ridley Scott
“Who gives a damn if you can’t understand it, cool shit is happening you fucking dorks!”
